Music

While some people think pranks are the pinnacle of the comedic arts, Billie Eilish just hates them. They make her anxious and uncomfortable, so naturally she agreed to participate in Elle Magazine’s “Phoning It In” segment, where she called up her famous friends and label team just to totally mess with them.

“I am filled to the brim with anxiety right now,” she says at the beginning of the 10-minute segment. After passing on Zoe Kravitz for logistical reasons, first up was Barbie star Margot Robbie, whom Billie called with a pretend ask about using the actress’ home for a video shoot after a previous location fell through. “Please don’t pick up, please don’t pick up,” Eilish whispered to herself anxiously as the phone rang.

Using her pop juggernaut powers to bust through Robbie’s airplane mode while the star had her phone shut down on set and laughing as Margot praised Billie’s Hit Me Hard and Soft album (“dead, dead dying”), an embarrassed Eilish was even more rattled asking the for the fake favor. “I ordinarily would say f–k yeah, but we are packing up our house tomorrow,” Robbie said sweetly as Eilish squirmed in her chair.

Doubling down while looking for a back-up, Eilish casually mentioned that there would be 200 extras coming along, requiring a lot of inside and outside space. Eilish could not keep up the facade, though, falling apart and admitting the joke as Robbie laughed and said she was seriously “racking my brain” to find a solution. “I hate pranks so much, I don’t even know Margot like that!” she told Robbie, who laughed off the bit with good humor.

Next up on Eilish’s “most embarrassing day” ever, was a call to her Darkroom label CEO Justin Lubliner to casually pretend she’s quitting music, a bit that made her want to “throw up right now” as she noted that “my body is a temperature it’s never been.” Trying her best to play it straight, Billie revealed, “I can’t do this anymore, like I am going to quit music and I’m not doing this anymore.” Lubliner was concerned about her first of all, asking if she was okay, while Eilish had to keep doubling-down on the fake news and saying there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

“Forget business for a second, can you tell me what’s going on?,” Lubliner said as Eilish could not hold it in anymore and revealed the joke. A shook Lubliner said, “that really hit me deep… you sounded really upset. I was about to pull up to wherever you are and give you a hug. That’s where my head went.”

Shaking, she called up pal Tyler, the Creator with a bit she came up with about messing her pants. “Okay Tyler, you’re not gonna believe what just happened to me and I need help so bad,” she told the rapper. “Dude, I’m on a date. I’m in the bathroom and I s–t my f–king pants.” Tyler’s response was, naturally, “Fire. Honestly? Fire. You deserve it!” Eilish said she was close to his house and wondered if she could swing by to change.

“I’m in Atlanta!” Tyler explained, as Eilish asked if she could still swing by his L.A. home for a shower and clothes. Tyler said no problem, but then had questions, like, how did it happen? “I thought it was a fart and then it just kept going,” Billie explained as she giggled at the phone and Tyler tried to figure out how she didn’t know she was passing more than gas.

Once she told him the truth, the singer said the silence from the MC who had his own prank-adjacent show called Loiter Squad was perfect. “That’s the content that they’re doing for journalism now?” he asked. “Nice, look, I sharted like two months ago,” he added.

Amazed at how nice everyone was being, Eilish pressed on, calling her friend Dakota Johnson to see if the Madame Web star had any advice on playing a baby in a movie. Wondering if it’s a good script and asking pertinent questions, Johnson sweetly tried to help when Eilish inquired about a good dialect coach for making baby sounds. “That’s the question?” Johnson wondered. “I was gonna ask you if it was a prank!” Johnson added shortly after of the ridiculous query, dispensing with what her actual question was going to be: “don’t you have enough money already?” The segment ended with Johnson threatening to get Eilish back twice as bad.

Eilish is slated to kick off the Hit Me Hard and Soft tour on Sept. 29 in Quebec at the Centre Videotron.

Watch Eilish prank her pals below.