State Champ Radio Jack Whitehall Wished Harry Styles a Happy 30th Birthday With a Hilariously NSFW Poem
Written by djfrosty on February 2, 2024
British comedian Jack Whitehall was, ostensibly, on The Tonight Show on Thursday night (Feb. 1) to plug his new Netflix special, Settle Down. And while that made it a special occasion, Whitehall said his appearance also marked an even more very significant milestone.
“Some of you will know, today is a very, very important day for another reason,” Whitehall told host Jimmy Fallon after chiding him for not mentioning the important date in the monologue earlier. “The first of February, Jimmy, today, is the 30th birthday of Mr. Harry Styles!” Whitehall, who has had some legendary run-ins with the “Watermelon Sugar” singer on U.K. TV over the years encouraged the audience to wish Harry a happy day, confident that Styles would see his kind gesture, because, as he noted, “he watches all of my late-night appearances.”
Saying he had planned to leave Styles a personal voice note later that night, Fallon twisted the comedian’s arm to read the very special tribute he penned for the singer. By chance, Whitehall had his little pink journal in his breast pocket, which he pulled out to workshop his Harry homage for the studio audience. “Just tell me if you think this is too much,” Whitehall said of the poem titled: “Turning 30 in Styles.”
“Harry, oh sweet Harry, you are a man of utter class
My north, my south, my if, my when
My elbow and my ass
I first saw you on X-Factor
The silly reality show way back in 2010
Nearly three Simon Cowell faces ago
A twinkle in your eyes, your hair looked like a mop
A high-pitched little voice, your testicles yet to drop
You dazzled the world with your boy band One Direction
An unstoppable rise, like an unwanted morning … [asking if he can say that word on late night TV]
The day the band broke up, I screamed, I cursed, I cried
I hadn’t been that sad since the day Mufasa died…”
Watch Whitehall read his poetic tribute to Styles on The Tonight Show below.
