doechii

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Quite often some of the most serious conversations are presented on social media through viral clips and tweets. Still, in most cases, online responses rarely receive the benefit of the care and nuance needed to be transformative.

In the case of the most recent viral clip from rap phenom and Billboard Woman of the Year, Doechii, this couldn’t be closer to the truth. Her most recent soundbite, in which she shared with DJ Miss Milan that her top “red flag” was “heterosexual men,” generated quite the buzz from rap critics and fans alike who saw her honest quip as confirmation of her hatred for mankind.
https://x.com/Glock_Topickz/status/1898100042839314548

Admittedly, my knee-jerk response was to feel the same way. For many male rap fans who champion the music of what the genre would deem as lyrical music, we saw her comments as hurtful and divisive, a reflection of a growing multitude of society that views heteronormative mannerisms as oppressive. But after some reflection, I had to begrudgingly concede that feelings aside, the sentiment of her words were true. For many Black women who’ve been caught in the crosshairs of the misogyny of rap and popular media, queer people and, in particular, queer Black women, were often fodder for the endless flame of insults and criticism churned out.
Just last month, Doechii, who identifies as bisexual, shared her experience as a middle school student with bullying, a commonality that other Black women and Black people in the LGTQBIA community have spoken about at length, which ties back into the central theme that Black men deserve rightful skepticism for their intentional and sometimes unintentional reinforcement of oppressive conditions.
An article titled, The Status of Black Women in the United States from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research shows that “more than 4 out of 10 Black women suffer violence at the hand of an intimate partner in their lives” while also sharing that they tend to suffer psychological abuse at a higher rate than women from other racial groups. Most of the violence that affects women comes at the hands of men, often stemming from archaic ideas about what a woman should do and be. Add to that the historic elements of racism and in the case of many darker-skinned women like Doechii—colorism—and you have a culture that openly celebrates otherizing people. With all of the violent ideas and actions Black women encounter in a lifetime then, it makes perfect sense for Doechii to feel that way.

It may sting to hear, but somewhere deep inside it reminds us that we have the power to positively affect people and shape their perceptions for better or worse. Instead of condemning her for her opinion, we should choose to focus on her work and the importance of the moment she’s in. She made history just this year when she became the third woman to win a Grammy for Best Rap Album and has not stopped breaking ground in areas where her creativity and innovation can be fully celebrated.
So for others who may have felt as I did when I heard her comments, I would implore you to do what I had to, which is appreciate her thoughts for what they were and continue the work of making a safer world for other Black people who are also geniuses.