Culture

After their second go-round as a couple produced endless reams of tabloid press coverage, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have been relatively quiet about the dissolution of their marriage. The couple first began dating in 2002 and got engaged before calling it off in 2004 and famously reuniting in 2021 and getting married the following year.

But, after less than two years, Lopez filed for divorce just months after the February 2024 release of her film This Is Me Now: A Love Story, a movie co-written by the couple that was loosely based on their love story. A surprisingly candid behind-the-scenes doc, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, was also released at the time, featuring a scene in which it was revealed that Affleck kept Lopez’s love letters even while he was married to his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner.

In a new GQ feature about Affleck’s plans to shake up Hollywood wit his artist-friendly Artists Equity company, the actor/director opens up for the first time about the couple’s split and makes it clear that despite the drama, he has a deep and abiding affection for his ex.

“You asked me about Jen and the documentary and I talked about that and my sort of personal life a little bit, which I don’t mind doing as long as my actual feelings and intentions and beliefs are communicated, which I hope I was clear that really this is somebody I have a lot of respect for,” he said. “And I get wanting to divine or explore the kind of differences in perspective that we have in terms of how a person feels comfortable approaching the line between public and private life. But I really hope that whatever you use doesn’t suggest that I have any negativity or judgment or anything regarding that.”

Affleck also makes it clear that he has “nothing but respect” for Lopez, lamenting the need by some to dissect break-ups in search of the “root causes” of a split. “But honestly, like I said, the truth is much more quotidian than probably people would believe or would be interesting,” he said.

“There’s no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue. The truth is, when you talk to somebody, ‘Hey, what happened?’ Well, there is no: ‘This is what happened,’” he added. “It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do. And as you get older, this is true for me, I assume it’s true for most people, there is no ‘So-and-so did this’ or ‘This was the big event.’ It’s really, it sounds more like a couple’s therapy session, which — you would tune out of someone else’s couple’s therapy after a while. For one thing, you start going, ‘Okay, clearly this person has got these issues. Clearly they have these issues.’ And the reason I don’t want to share that is just sort of embarrassing. It feels vulnerable.”

The piece delves into the fact that despite appearances, Affleck has a well-thought-out, nonchalant attitude about being pictured in public picking up his copious Dunkin’ order, or wearing an outfit a star might not want to be shot by paparazzi wearing. He talks about his strategies, such as wearing the same look every day so the pap pictures of him are indistinguishable, or looking “like a slob” on purpose and how he just doesn’t really care, or sweat it that much.

“Then you become the sad Affleck meme spilling the coffee. Which I have to say I think is kind of funny,” he said. “So I think it’s just a function of the fact that I’ve spent time thinking about really trying to figure it out.”

Affleck was also asked about some moments in the widely panned Greatest Love Story Never Told doc, in which the now ex-couple repeatedly claimed they were private people, even as Lopez revealed some intimate moments and aspects of their relationship via the letters and footage of them at home. In those scenes, the writer suggests that Affleck seems to both be taking a deep “here we go again” breath, even as he’s clearly expressing his love and support for Lopez.

“Part of it was, ‘Okay, if I’m going to participate in this, I want to try to do it in an honest way and in a way that’s interesting,’” Affleck said. “Because I thought it was an interesting examination. Like I mentioned to you before, there are a lot of people who I think have handled celebrity more adeptly and more adroitly than I have, Jennifer among them. My temperament is to be a little bit more reserved and private than hers. As happens in relationships, you don’t always have the same attitude towards these things. And so I thought, ‘Oh, this is interesting because how do you reconcile that?’ Because exactly what you said is true. I love and support this person. I believe in them. They’re great. I want people to see that.”

Affleck recalled that the doc used his line “You don’t marry a ship captain and then say, ‘Well, I don’t like going out in the water,’” saying that you have to “own what you knew going into any relationship.” And, for the record, Affleck assures readers that the movie wasn’t the cause of “some major fracture. It’s not like you can watch that documentary and go, ‘Oh, now I understand the issues that these two had.’”

Affleck will next be seen in The Accountant 2, which will hit theaters on April 25.