conspiracy theory
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The Onion, the long-running satirical news website that began as a print publication, has caught on in the digital media world and its parent company made a brazen move seemingly pulled from its headlines. The Onion‘s parent company purchased conspiracy theorist Alex Jones‘ InfoWars, and the “CEO” of the parent company has issued a statement.
The news was announced via The Onion and features words from Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder, a fictitious CEO according to The Onion’s CEO, Ben Collins. That aside, Mr. Tetraeder’s statement to the world regarding the purchase of InfoWars is done in true Onion fashion.
From Bryce P. Tetraeder:
Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.
Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.
What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.
Global Tetrahedron, which is the real name of the parent company, purchased InfoWars through a bankruptcy auction to help offset Jones’ $1 billion in defamation judgments for spreading information that the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary shooting was a hoax. Parents and backers of the shooting victims were in support of the auction and the ending of InfoWars, according to replies made by Collins on X and Bluesky
The larger play for InfoWars appears to be a shift to turn all of its hateful and unfounded content into a hub for gun violence prevention. Alex Jones also shared a video on Thursday (November 14) confirming the news.
On X, the reaction to the news is moving along and we’ve got reactions below.
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Photo: Getty
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Fans and followers of Ryan Garcia know that the outspoken athlete is an avid Donald Trump supporter and also a conspiracy theorist (as are most Trumpians). Now, the professional boxer is attempting to turn his positive PED test into a conspiracy theory of its own—he’s blaming it on his public endorsement of VonShitzhispants, allegedly.
According to Raw Story, Garcia took to his X account to blast out a brand new conspiracy theory as to why he tested positive for the banned PED, ostarine, claiming that the powers that be set him up after he showed his support for Donald Trump not too long ago.
“Hmm I’m seen with trump
And now I’m positive for steroids
This is a straight attack
Crazy.”
Yeah, unfortunately for Garcia these kind of conspiracy theories blurted out online only work when they come from Donald Trump himself, right-wing leaning media or white people.
Ryan Garcia is a Mexican boxer whom MAGA supporters have no interest in, well, supporting. Still, the man did get some validation from Trumpians on social media but not to the extent where it would cause outrage among the far-right and call for a boycott of the sport of boxing or something ridiculous.
And ridiculous is what this is as Trump and Trump supporters have a well-known knack for refusing to take accountability for their misdeeds and blaming it on the powers that be whenever they’re caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
Per Raw Story:
His message caught the eye of MSNBC writer Ja’han Jones, who published Thursday a scathing analysis of the professional boxer’s take, arguing, “the tone of his denials…are dripping with Trumpian deflection and evasions.”
“Garcia made expletive-laden comments that echoed rhetoric he’s pushed in the past, claiming the report was probably released by ‘pedophile’ elites he says he’s been ‘trying to take down,’” Jones writes.
Jones notes Garcia offered a “defense” the writer suggested did more harm than good: “Even if a motherf—– was on steroids, right?” Garcia reportedly wrote, “You still got hit.”
“Garcia and Trump are clearly a fitting match: Both know how it feels when their declared victories are called into question,” Jones wrote. “And both are clearly unashamed to spread salacious conspiracy theories to push back against stories that could damage their already-shaky reputations as winners.”
Where this goes from here is anyone’s guess. But we doubt that Ryan Garcia’s conspiracy theory behind his positive PED test will gain much traction going forward because, well, he’s not beloved in MAGA land. So good luck with that, mano.
What do y’all think of Ryan Garcia’s latest defense of his positive PED test? Let us know in the comment section below.
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Source: Drew Angerer / Getty
After decades of speculation and conspiracy theories galore, an ex-intel officer for the United States of America finally revealed that yes, the U.S. has UFO technology and extraterrestrial bodies in their possession, but apparently no one cares in 2023.
According to AFP, the historic revelation happened yesterday (July 27) when David Grusch spoke to a congressional committee and confirmed that the U.S. not only recovered crashed UFO’s and the “biologicals” that piloted them, but are also reverse-engineering their tech at their government bases. While he was still hesitant to go into detail about what he knows exactly (he doesn’t want to disappear), he did say that most of what we assumed about UFO’s (a.k.a UAPs) and our governements involvement in covering them up is true and he and others have been threatened about talking about what they know.
AFP reports:
Pressed for details in the course of the hearing, Grusch repeatedly said he could not comment in a public setting because the information is classified.
He said the US government is hiding information on UAPs not only from the public but from Congress, and that he personally interviewed people with direct knowledge of non-human craft.
“My testimony is based on information I’ve been given by individuals with a longstanding track record of legitimacy and service to this country — many of whom also shared compelling evidence in the form of photography, official documentation and classified oral testimony,” Grusch told lawmakers.
Unfortunately for Grusch, outside of his own testimony he himself could not provide of this evidence.
Still, the whistleblower decided it was time he reveal to congress what he knows on the subject, though naturally we’ll probably never get to see the pictures and other forms of evidence that would surely prove that there are aliens amongst us. Whether or not they’re actually working within our government on some X-File‘s sh*t is anyone’s guess, but they probably are.
What do y’all think of David Grusch’s testimony to congress? Let us know in the comments section below.
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