2005 Week
This week, Billboard is publishing a series of lists and articles celebrating the music of 20 years ago. Our 2005 Week continues here with a conversation with Amerie about her 2005, which included the release of her biggest and most-beloved hit to date: the pop&B classic “One Thing.”
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When Amerie recorded her Billboard Hot 100 top 10 hit “1 Thing” in New York City, she was a twenty-something singer/songwriter fully immersed in her craft, using a bag of Guacamole Doritos to keep her motivated. Racing to finish the go-go-tinged track, she and producer Rich Harrison paced through the arduous 12-hour session, as the singer occasionally treated herself to one or two chips after completing a section of the song.
“I was growing and vocally coming into myself, and that was playing off what [Harrison] was creating,” she recalls of the song’s creation. “He was able to create based on what I was bringing. I was like his muse. For me, we’re like musical soulmates. We just fit. When it came to anyone really doing anything, there was going to be an element of me and Rich in that, because we created something special together. It’s hard to get away from it.”
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For Amerie, it’s hard to get away from music. After a 16-year hiatus since her last studio album, In Love & War, the singer-songwriter will mark her triumphant return to music with her upcoming self-titled album — while also releasing a new novel, This Is Not a Ghost Story.
“Overall, it’s easier for me to take constructive criticism as a writer of fiction versus songwriting in music,” says Amerie, whose new book drops June 10. “When I try to create songs, I do the least amount of thinking. With writing, it’s very cerebral. Doing so much writing and rewriting helped me get my ideas across much clearer and faster in my songwriting.”
Below, Billboard speaks to Amerie about the 20th anniversary of “1 Thing,” why the label was initially against the record, if Jennifer Lopez almost had the song before her and more.
I heard Doritos played a huge role during the recording process of “One Thing.” Is that true?
I remember I needed a [metaphorical] carrot. I was almost like a puppy. I needed a treat, and I gotta space them out. It’s like when you study; if you read two pages, you get two cheese balls. So for me, it became a game and kind of way to keep me going in the studio. It was like, “If you get this verse right, you get a chip.” [Laughs.]
So when I recorded “One Thing,” I was eating the Guacamole Doritos. I don’t even know if they make ’em anymore, but it was like, “You get a chip after finishing a take.” It was like I’d get two chips and then I’d have a tea — it was green tea. That kind of kept me going through the session, because you gotta belt that song out. Like the whole song. That kept me going those 12 hours [of recording].
Your producer Rich sampled The Meters’ “Oh Calcutta” for the song and it had such a go-go flare to it. Was it easy for you to adapt to that kind of production?
And he did that. The original sample, you can feel the vibe there, but the way he flipped it is what really made it feel go-go. It was pretty easy, because I was used to Rich at that point. So all of that was different from some of the stuff that we did before. There’s a certain kind of common thread that he has in his percussion and his production, but I will say when I first heard it, it was a little like, “OK.” It was that moment when I was like, “All right. I’m gonna sing over this. ‘Kay.”
But Rich and I have such a trust sonically. We always fit together like two puzzle pieces. There’s so much trust there that he didn’t really have to convince me to be like, “We should try this, or try that.” That’s kind of why we gelled so much when we started working together. When we met for the first time, I played him so stuff that he written and he played me some stuff that he was working on. I kind of knew there was something there and then when we actually went in for our first session, we just clicked really quickly. Nothing has ever been a reach for us.
The label said the record felt “very linear” when they first heard the record. What were your initial thoughts to their feedback?
I remember they sent some different suggestions of the hook that I thought to not really be right at all. Not terrible on their own… but trying to make that hook a part of the song was a bad idea. I was like, “Don’t you hear that sounds not good?” But they were just thinking, “What is a big hook?” Thinking, instead of feeling it. But their reasons were good. They were trying to make the biggest record possible.
It’s like a careful dance everyone has to do on their sides. At the end of the day, you just have to remember, everyone is not going to get it every time.
Did you have an “A-ha” moment when you guys leaked the record and the feedback from the fans came back positively? How did the label take it?
Well, I think they were playing catch-up. I didn’t have an “a-ha” moment, because everything was moving too fast. For me, it was, “How do we catch up?” The label was on board and I’m glad it worked out. It was too quick for me, but I did learn an important lesson, though.
One song that was gonna be a single was “Talkin About,” which was so dope. The reason why it didn’t was because I was traveling a lot. Again, things were happening so quickly and they were ready for the video, but I just didn’t like the video treatments I was getting. They weren’t the worst, but they weren’t exactly right. I took too long to decide, because I was overseas, and all this stuff was happening. Because I took so long, it gave them too much time to be like, “You know what? We can just work on another album. Let’s put the money towards another album.” I was like, “Wait, no!” But they’ve already made that decision.
So then I learned an important lesson — you gotta be nimble and move fast. When things happen quickly, switch. And don’t be a perfectionist — ‘coz I am a perfectionist, and being a perfectionist sometimes will freeze you.
Were you a fan of the movie Hitch, and how much the song was incorporated into the film?
Carl, what if I hated the movie? [Laughs.]
And that’s OK! 20 years later, you might have different thoughts.
No, I thought the movie was really cute. I really did like it. I enjoyed it. There’s so many people around the world that know the song because of the movie, which surprises me every time. It shows you the power of multimedia. You have the music itself, but just from the film, I’m so surprised how many people know it from that ’cause they would be like, “Hitch! Hitch. ‘1 Thing.’ Hitch.” So they’re attached together. I’m glad it was attached to something that was a feel-good movie. It made sense.
You handpicked Eve for the remix. What went into that decision considering the standard formula back then was grabbing a male hip-hop star to balance out the song with a female R&B artist?
Looking at it now, there’s so many female rappers, and so many of them made such inroads in the game that you can forget that it was pretty difficult [back then]. You can count on one hand how many were really prominent. It didn’t feel like it was groundbreaking at the time. She was just dope, and had good energy. I knew she would bring a lot to the record.
I heard Jennifer Lopez first wanted the record. Was that true?
I don’t know that for a fact, because I didn’t know if it was her who wanted the record or people working with her that wanted the record for her. So I don’t know that.
I thought it was funny, because then Rich produced J-Lo’s “Get Right” shortly after.
Rich and I really did create a sound. Like, he was already doing music, of course and I think he actually played a song with Mary [J. Blige] on [The Breakthrough]. He had a really beautiful song with her that had this hypnotic vibe to it. In any case, he already has his place in it. I was trying to get in the business for a minute and I’d been writing and just trying to figure it out, but when we came together, we really did create something new.
“Touch” was the next single after “1 Thing.” Looking back, would you have done things differently and gone along with another single on the album?
Looking back, I think the next single should have been “Talkin’ About.” The third single was gonna be “Talkin’ About.” It’s not that we should have never gone to “Touch” ever, but I think it should have been “1 Thing” [first] And instead of “Talkin’ About” being a third [single], we should have went ahead and secured it as the second. Then, after that, “Rolling Down My Face” should have been three.
I always thought “Like It Used to Be” was the sequel to “Why Don’t We Fall in Love,” and that it could have worked too.
That’s interesting. I think if there’s any songs that are really essentially puzzle pieces to moments in a relationship, really, they can all fit in all different kinds of ways. “Like It Used To Be” could have been a single. It could actually work now.
Fast forward, you’ve returned to the music space with your new single “Mine” produced by Troy Taylor. It was one of the few records you’ve teased on IG Live. Why was this the first one to come out?
“Mine” we teased when we did a three-song sampler and just played everyone a verse and a hook of three different songs. We listened to how they were feeling about it and we knew how people felt about “Undeniable” as well as one of the up-tempos we played for people too. Those are still coming, they’re still on the album. For the first song, I wanted to give them something that they haven’t heard the whole thing of and come back to “Undeniable” because the song is dope and I want them to hear it for real on streaming and with great amazing quality. I also just wanted them to have something different.

From Mariah Carey‘s iconic gold Emancipation of Mimi gown to Destiny’s Child‘s grown and sexy Destiny Fulfilled… and Lovin’ It tour looks, 2005 was stacked with memorable fashion moments across pop culture. As the midpoint of the ’00s decade, 2005 housed the last vestiges of Y2K style before the culture slowly began its transition into more […]

This week, Billboard is publishing a series of lists and articles celebrating the music of 20 years ago. Our 2005 Week continues here with a conversation with veteran film star Eric Roberts about starring in three of the biggest videos of 2005 — including the clips for two of our editorial staff’s top three songs of the year.
Twenty years ago, Eric Roberts was a three-time Golden Globe-nominated actor who was starring on an ABC sitcom (Less Than Perfect) and frequently linked to his Oscar-winning little sister, fellow film star Julia Roberts. But 2005 marked a turning point in his career, when he starred in a trio of music videos that would introduce the prolific actor to a whole new generation: The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside,” and Mariah Carey’s two-part “It’s Like That” and “We Belong Together.”
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In all the videos, he portrayed a shady character who stood in the way of the true love stories at the heart of the storylines. For The Killers, he was the handsome, leering stranger who was keeping frontman Brandon Flowers from a burlesque dancer played by actress Izabella Miko. For Carey, he was a controlling record-exec beau (hint, hint) who was keeping Mimi from the impeccable buzzcut of Prison Break star Wentworth Miller.
He made the absolute most of his limited screen time – memorably taunting Flowers during a contentious game of checkers in the Sophie Muller-directed “Mr. Brightside” and wearing abject heartbreak across his face as Carey left him at the altar in the Brett Ratner-helmed “We Belong Together.”
The Killers “Mr. Brightside”
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In honor of 2005 Week, Billboard caught up with Roberts (with a cameo from his actress wife Eliza Roberts for some extra context) to chat about starring in the videos for our No. 1 and No. 3 picks for the staff’s 100 Best Songs of 2005 list and what he remembers about that surreal time — and about the new video he just shot with a star artist of today.
Let’s rewind back to 2005 for a minute. What do you remember about being asked to do The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” video?
Eric: Well, I turned it down at first, because I don’t do videos. I didn’t know anything about them, so I just said no — just kind of a knee-jerk response. And then all my kids called me and said, “What are you doing? You can’t do that! It’s The Killers!” So they told me to call them back and to say I’m available. So I did, and [director] Sophie Muller took me.
Smart kids. What do you remember about that set and about filming with the band?
Eric: It was kind of insane. It was kind of nutty and all over the place, and I never really knew what I was doing or what I was playing, and I just let Sophie boss me around.
Was there a script or a storyboard, or was it very much like, you get into this world and on this set and kind of react in real time?
Eric: I don’t remember ever seeing a script or ever seeing a storyboard, so I don’t know.
Eliza: Yes, there was a storyboard, and it was pretty elaborate, because remember: Sophie had to wrangle these dancers and performers, singers and artists, and an actor who’s used to linear material, scripted, and she had a vision in her head. But within that, she allowed a lot of freedom. She had a lot of respect for what was going on. It’s true that there was never really an explanation, because when people talk about the story of a song, it’s very different from talking about the story of a book or a movie.
What do you remember about filming?
Eric: It was a great big, huge set, and it was cool. It was like a bar.
Eliza: Everyone wanted to come with us. It was so funny, because going from clueless to kind of realizing, like, “Oh, this is really something, it’s like a tipping-point thing.” Eric was doing a series with Zachary Levi at the time [the four-season ABC sitcom Less Than Perfect], and when Zach heard they wanted Eric in [The Killers’ video], Zach literally followed us to set just to see. Everybody showed up. And then we realized, “Oh, I guess we’re really lucky to be here.” But there was a vibe, definitely. I mean, Sophie creates a vibe, and what you saw on the screen was even more in in person.
In 2005, you also had a pair of videos with Mariah Carey. The “It’s Like That” video, which was released first, ends with a “To Be Continued” message, leading to “We Belong Together.” Were those filmed at one time?
Eric: Yeah, those were done at the same time.
What do you remember about that set and working with Mariah?
Eric: I remember her being a queen, just an absolute queen. How she looked, how she acted, her humor — she was a cool chick.
Eliza: She had this incredible two-story trailer, and everyone really wanted to be careful. They had parasols and they didn’t want to call her to set until the moment they needed her. And she was nothing like that! She didn’t require it at all. She kept making fun of everybody for that. She’s like, “What are you doing?” And totally accessible. It was just a fun, amazing set. It was kind of like two parts or two episodes of a series, but shot right at the same time.
Eric, you had initially said no to The Killers, and then obviously that was such a huge success. Did that lead to an easy yes when Brett Ratner came calling for the Mariah videos?
Eric: Why I ended up saying yes to everything is because of her [points to Eliza].
So Eliza and the kids basically talked you into all these music videos?
Eric: Yup, and I go, “OK.”
Eliza: First of all, Brett — we love Brett, and he’s a friend. We always say yes to him. He’s brilliant. But it was the same record label [The Killers and Carey’s songs were both released by Island]. So first Eric said, “Do you really want me to do another one of your artists so soon? I think you’re mistaken. You can’t possibly want that.” And I’m like, “Nope, that’s what they want.” And of course we’re not going to let him not do Mariah Carey. Plus he’s always been secretly in love with her a little bit.
Wait, Eric – can you confirm that part of the story?
[Eric shrugs]
Eliza: I’m outing him! I mean, she’s phenomenal. And he was like, “She’s so beautiful. I think I have a little crush on her.” And he doesn’t do many crushes. And then when we hired [Eliza’s son] Keaton’s then-girlfriend, who’s a makeup artist, [to work on the video] Eric’s like, “You don’t have to have Christina keeping an eye on me with Mariah!” [Laughs]
The Killers’ and Mariah’s videos were very different, but can you compare Sophie and Brett’s directorial styles at all?
Eric: They had something in common: Their sets are kind of mad. They’re kind of insane. They’re typically explosive. They’re fun sets to be on.
Eric, you also presented at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards, the year “Mr. Brightside” won for best new artist in a video. Do you remember how you were feeling that night?
Eric: Vaguely, yeah. I remember being there. God, that was a generation ago, so it’s a little tough, but I was there. I don’t really remember having a feeling, I just remember being there.
And during your speech, you slipped in a shout-out to your stepson Keaton, who’s a musician…
Eliza: They kind of forgot to give us any copy or anything, because there was a lot of distraction. So that’s when we kind of put together our own and gave a shout-out to Keaton. I got a million texts suddenly from all kinds of people, some of them being like, “Oh, that took such chutzpah! What balls Eric has!” Like, everyone’s here to promote. Let’s not pretend that’s not the case, right? That’s what this is about, right? So might as well promote someone who’s up and coming, and not just people who don’t need promotion. I mean, come on, guys.
I think they struck it from the from the broadcast later… In the live show, it aired, but then in the repeat, they cut it.
You ended up introducing R. Kelly that night, who put on a wild “Trapped in the Closet” performance. Do you remember much about the performance that followed?
Eric: All went over my head.
Did you notice any big changes to your career or to your public image after appearing in these music videos?
Eric: The only really big change was kids knew who I was, and they never knew who I was before. I’d be in movie theaters, and these eight-year-old kids would say, “Hey, it’s you!” And I’d go, “Yeah, it’s me!” And it was shocking. Everywhere I went, little kids were following me. Yeah, it was fun.
I wondered which video you would get recognized for more.
Eric: Long-term, it was The Killers. But in the immediate, it was Mariah.
You know, in Billboard’s staff list of the 100 best songs of 2005, “We Belong Together” is at No. 3 and “Mr. Brightside” is at No. 1. How does it feel to be a big part of these songs that continue to have this legacy 20 years later?
Eric: Lucky, lucky, lucky. Fun to be a part of it.
You worked with The Killers again on the “Miss Atomic Bomb” video in 2012. What was it like reuniting with them?
Eric: What was funny about that was we were not in the same state as each other. When we shot that video, we were in different places. Crazy. [Eliza] arranged it all. In fact, it’s because of my wife that “Miss Atomic Bomb” got made, because it was not supposed to. Everything was against it. It wasn’t going to work. And she said, “I have an idea.” And she made it work.
Eliza: Eric was shooting in Detroit and I get a call from somebody, a producer, and he’s like, “Hey, we’re going to be doing a prequel to ‘Mr. Brightside.’ We want to know if Eric is available.” And I was like, “Of course he’ll do that! When?” And they’re like, “Day after tomorrow.”
Eric: I was like, what?
Eliza: Then he sends me the storyboard – without Eric, it can’t be done, right? What were you gonna do if I said no? Also, [original “Brightside” star] Izabella [Miko] was dancing in it and leaving for Europe the next day, so basically it had to be that day. So I was like, “Yes, he’ll do it. He’s not in town. Let’s figure this out.” And that director was an animator, and he’s amazing. So I asked his production, “I know you’re doing some green-screen work. I’m going to ship some clothes to you. I’m going to find someone to double Eric there.” I literally looked in the Yellow Pages.
Eric: She found a green-screener. Nicest guy in the world.
Eliza: A little guy who had a green screen [in Michigan], and after the film wrapped, Eric went there. He had no idea what he was doing. He put on his own white suit that I shipped there and smoked a cigarette and did his thing. So you see [Eric’s body double] reach for Izabella, and then she takes his hand and they do a little twirl, and they cut to Eric.
I hear that you just filmed a new video with Summer Walker as well, so your music video journey continues. What can you tell us about that one?
Eric: Summer Walker was the coolest. We had a lot of fun together, and it’s going to be a really good video. It’s going to shock you.
What does it take for you to say yes to a video now?
Eric: I just have to like the song and/or like the artist, and I’m in.
Speaking of which, what music are you into right now?
Eric: Well, you know, I’m a little bit biased, but I’m also very honest: Keaton Simons is my favorite singer/songwriter. He’s also my favorite guitar player. And it’s not because he’s him and I’m me. It’s because of his brilliant talent. You should listen to him; it’ll blow your mind. He’s mind-blowing, and I live for him musically. He toured for a year with Eric Clapton and now he’s with Brett Young.
And what’s next for you?
Eric: There’s a great movie out called Hippo, and it’s got three devastating performances in it. One of them is one of my favorite actors, and that’s my wife. It’s a miraculous movie. It’s not a picnic movie, but it is good.
04/17/2025
The non-singles worth remembering from our favorite albums of 20 years ago.
04/17/2025
This week, Billboard is publishing a series of lists and articles celebrating the music of 20 years ago. Our 2005 Week starts here with a discussion of 50 Cent’s game-running 2005 — possibly an even higher commercial and cultural peak than his hallowed 2003 run, but also the clear beginning of the end for his superstardom.
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With his inescapable Get Rich or Die Tryin’ album and its Billboard Hot 100-topping smash “In Da Club,” 50 Cent became the hottest rapper in the game in 2003, matching even his mentor Eminem for ubiquity and cultural dominance. After expanding his G-Unit empire in 2004, 50 returned in 2005 with his second album The Massacre, a couple smash collabs with his new West Coast lieutenant The Game, a huge tour with Eminem, new business ventures, new beefs, and even a film debut in his very own prestige quasi-biopic. He was arguably bigger than ever — but after two years where it felt like 50 couldn’t miss, his strike rate was finally starting to slip a little.
In this week’s Vintage Pop Stardom episode of the Greatest Pop Stars podcast, host Andrew Unterberger is joined by a pair of Billboard Hip-Hop staffers and GPS regulars in Carl Lamarre and Michael Saponara to talk about the year that ended up being the top of the rollercoaster for the artist born Curtis Jackson. We start at with 50 playing kingmaker with his G-Unit crew in late 2004, including those couple classics alongside The Game, and then move into his ’05 — beginning with an album that sells over a million copies in its (abbreviated) first week, launches feuds with half of the hip-hop world and returns him to the top of the Hot 100 with his second straight lead single smash, and ending with a film debut that doesn’t totally do any of the things he hopes it will.
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And of course, along the way, we ask all the big questions about 50 Cent’s too-big-to-fail sophomore campaign: Could 50 and Game have been the Dre and Snoop for another generation? Is a “Candy Shop” even really a thing? Were the deep cuts on The Massacre better than the singles? Was 50 Cent: Bulletproof worth playing? Can you actually hoop in G-Unit sneakers? And if you catch the Get Rich or Die Tryin’ movie on cable, should you bother sticking around for the whole thing?
Check it out above — along with a YouTube playlist of some of the most important moments from 50 Cent’s 2005, all of which are discussed in the podcast — and subscribe to the Greatest Pop Stars podcast on Apple Music or Spotify (or wherever you get your podcasts) for weekly discussions every Thursday about all things related to pop stardom!
And as we say in every one of these GPS podcast posts — if you have the time and money to spare, please consider donating to any of these causes in the fight for trans rights:
Transgender Law Center
Trans Lifeline
Gender-Affirming Care Fundraising on GoFundMe
Also, please consider subscribing to the trans legislation journalism of Erin Reed, and giving your local congresspeople a call in support of trans rights, with contact information you can find on 5Calls.org.
The Billboard staff’s list of the 100 best songs of 2005 highlights the macro-trends in modern rock from 20 years ago: veterans like Green Day and Foo Fighters were still scoring mega-hits, relative newcomers like The Killers and Coldplay were coming into their own, and bands like Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance were helping emo reach the masses. These bands headlined arenas, earned radio play and were constant fixtures on MTV. For a generation scouring a pre-smartphone Internet, however, there was an alternative to the rock bands that were already labeled “alternative.”
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Indie rock existed for decades before 2005, but the mid-point of the 2000s was the year that blogs started becoming more ubiquitous, their left-of-center recommendations started reaching wider audiences, and artists that previously wouldn’t have believed that they could cater to large audiences suddenly started playing to them. Thanks to a “Best New Music” Pitchfork declaration or a prominent print-magazine writeup, the floodgates would suddenly open for artists signed to indie labels. This was still a few years before the mainstream fully began intermingling with the indie scene – by way of Jay-Z infamously showing up to Grizzly Bear’s Brooklyn show, but in the meantime, several artists saw their profiles balloon and their crowds swell, thanks to some of the most daring and thought-provoking indie albums released that decade.
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To celebrate Billboard’s 2005 Week, nine indie artists opened in separate interviews about the year that their lives transformed thanks to a breakthrough album release.
These artists discussed their memories of the indie scene in 2005, shared pinch-me moments about their unplanned success reflected on how the music industry evolved in the following years, and offered advice for independent artists hoping to break big today. Read through all of the conversations below.
(Ed. note: These interviews have been condensed and edited for clarity.)
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
The Brooklyn-by-way-of-Philadelphia group’s self-titled debut album, a collection of joyful indie rock arrangements fronted by Alec Ounsworth’s yelping voice, was heralded as a DIY sensation by critics upon its release. Ounsworth looks back on the band’s out-of-nowhere launch, and how his feelings about the first CYHSY album have evolved.
It seemed like people were paying attention as we were playing live shows from 2003 to the album release in 2005. I was confident in what we were doing, but I didn’t think, “Everybody’s gonna love this.” I just generally don’t have much of a point of view regarding what people find attractive in music, so I was surprised that anybody showed up.
You never really know what’s gonna come of what you’re doing — you try and be honest with yourself and your work. I’m a bit of a music snob, I mean, and I was just trying to do something that stood up to my standards, you know? I really like kind of haphazard stuff — like a lot of bands, one of my major influences was Velvet Underground and some of Brian Eno’s early stuff, so I wanted to promote experimentation and disregard the minute details to a degree. So it was sloppy! A lot of the live shows especially were sloppy. But I was like, they get the idea.
I had heard here and there that people had blogs? But I thought of them like zines, essentially, and I didn’t really think of them. I was very appreciative of anybody who paid us any mind — but I hear about this term “blog rock,” and I had probably less to do with that than most people. In a way, I wish I had been digging into that a little bit more, but I sort of preferred to be surprised to go up to New York, and then there would be a show by Menomena, or Scissor Sisters, or The National, or whoever. And I was just like, “I’ve never heard these guys!” And it was just always my own first impression, never what anybody else was saying.
We actually had the first album ready in 2004, before we had a true team on board, so we did a mini-release that preceded the bigger release in 2005. I didn’t expect my voice, or a lot of other aspects, to translate on a bigger level. I was just shocked. We were selling all of these records out of people’s apartments, and I remember packaging CDs with my mom, because we were getting a lot of orders — sending stuff to to New Zealand, and to other places in the world. That’s when we started to think, “This might have some following.” I would go and deliver boxes of CDs to record stores in New York and Philadelphia, and they’d asked me what my position on the team was.
I remember trying to rush the second album. For me at the time, it was this stubborn naïveté — thinking, “Well, heroes of mine like Bob Dylan released albums all the time, we should just do that.” Some Loud Thunder came out of that mentality of ‘Let’s just keep going and push and push.’ We toured a bit on that, and I decided to take a lot of time off, five years between albums. I was struggling to manage the belief that I had in it. I wanted to be genuine — I didn’t want to go through the motions out there, and I didn’t think that was fair to people. I was easily worn down.
The five years off didn’t really help a lot in terms of the trajectory, and then streaming services kicked in. I still am learning to deal with that and trying to understand — not only streaming services, but the social media platforms kept shifting. We had a pretty reasonable following on MySpace, and then it switched over to Facebook. And Facebook is still in existence, but it’s sort of been taken over by Instagram. It’s a constant shift of, “How do we now rebuild, based on the services that have nothing to do with us?” I’m not so great at that, because I don’t naturally project myself into the digital world. It’s a little bit difficult for me, and kind of overwhelming, to get on track, particularly for this kind of band.
I think at the beginning I didn’t appreciate the first album a lot. I didn’t even really want to release it, because at the time, I didn’t know that you’re supposed to be, like, 60-to-70 percent happy with your album. It’s not always exactly what I have in my head, and I’ve learned to let things go. I have a lot of trouble being happy with what I’ve produced at the moment, and then a couple years later, I’m like, “Huh, that actually was pretty decent.” I am very thankful that, despite my judgment at the time, I made an album that I am still proud of, and I am not embarrassed at all to perform.
The Mountain Goats
Singer-songwriter John Darnielle’s musical project had been a lo-fi cult favorite for years, but 2005’s The Sunset Tree, a poignant collection of stories inspired by his childhood and the abuse he faced from his stepfather, helped deliver the Mountain Goats to a much wider audience. Darnielle unpacks the album’s place in his greater legacy.
We were on a three-album contract from 4AD — I was going to make three albums with them no matter what, and the third one was the last one on the contract. Tallahassee had not lit a fire under the world at all, and We Shall All Be Healed had been received with pretty mixed reviews. We were so proud of that record — I was micromanaging in those days, writing the press kit, committed to a sort of obscurantist vision of how to present stuff. But after We Shall All Be Healed, I was like, “I don’t really think that I’ll be doing this much longer.”
At the same time, I had written these songs that were important to me and I thought were good. But the whole time I’m making the record, I’m thinking that this is probably the last time we get to do this. When the touring started for The Sunset Tree, I was volunteering at a local animal shelter and planning on finding a day job. My assumption was that my two-year experiment in living as a musician was about to come to an end.
I say this with nothing but love for all the people who worked for me at 4AD in New York, but they didn’t know my stuff well, and I didn’t have the money to fly from Iowa to New York to have a meeting to talk about the record. So they just got the record, and they listened to it, and they said, “Well, what does this sound like?” They’re looking for RIYL stuff on the sleeve. Well, the Mountain Goats don’t really sound like anybody at that point, but they wanted to compare it to somebody. So on the promo, the RIYL was Cake, and They Might Be Giants. The Mountain Goats are something you have to come to terms with, and if you try to compare them to other things, it usually doesn’t work out. Everybody thinks that, obviously — I don’t think we’re so completely unique that you can’t compare us to anybody. But that had been the case that, for two records, people seemed not to know what to make of us.
Usually when I’m writing a record, I’m thinking about the stories I want to tell, but The Sunset Tree was half-written on tour, and I never used to write on tour. But my stepfather died, and I was touring constantly then, and tour is an emotional pressure cooker — especially if you sleep very badly on tour, which I do. If you deprive a person of sleep, their emotions come to the surface.
Pitchfork was entering their kingmaker phase. That’s when you really would lose sleep thinking, “Are they going to review it on release day, and what’s the number grade gonna be?” It makes me feel a little sheepish to admit what a big deal it was, but it was a big deal — a very good review would literally put you into bigger rooms on your tour.
The main thing I remember is the New Yorker story — that was the giant deal of that cycle for us. We heard that Sasha Frere-Jones was going to be writing a thing, and he talked to me, and he wound up writing about me and Craig Finn, and we had a photo shoot. The night the New Yorker piece hit the stands, we were in Boston, and it was an electric atmosphere for us. To have a piece affording our work some serious analysis was a giant deal, and to be in a print magazine — print still mattered a lot more than the web did at that point.
When The Sunset Tree came out, we were selling out shows, we were growing – but The Sunset Tree was not a hit. We joked about charts, but they were not on our radar at that time. We shot a video for “This Year,” which was great, but it wasn’t a hit. Now, that was different in Australia — “This Year” was played by Triple J, the national youth station, and it actually did quite well. And when we went down there, it jumped off — that’s when it was like, “Whoa, we are bigger than we think.” In Brisbane, I believe we opened our show with “This Year,” and it was a big mistake, because the room just exploded. We had no idea!
When I was making tapes and 7-inches and stuff, it was not my day job — so when I got money from it, that was a nice bonus. But the bottom dropped out of physical sales, and people would straight-up ask me, “Why should I buy this from you? It’s free.” They would say that to me at the merch table! That vibe didn’t go away, but it grew, and people began to think of art as labor, and wanting to compensate the people who make it, which is great. But there was this window then, when there was a very routine occurrence for someone to say, “Hey man, I got all your stuff off of Kazaa. F–k the record industry!” And it’s like, “I’m trying to make a living that industry, but I’m not gonna argue with you about it.”
But at the same time, I always thought that, if you put love and commitment into the thing you’re making, it will find its people who want to buy it. And I think that was true then, and it’s true now. If you’re setting goals like, “I want to sell 20,000 of these” — good luck to you. I’ve never thought of things in those terms. I always think, I’m trying to make something, I hope it finds an audience that connects with it. And then I will see how big that audience is on the other side of that process.
I’m always using that term, “a record finds its audience.” Over my entire life’s work, across making records and books and whatever else, The Sunset Tree occupies a unique position. It is the one that ends up telling me, “This is your life’s work, for at least the next 20 years.” This record, uniquely at that time in our catalog, was speaking to a certain type of situation of abuse that people wanted to hear — not in massive numbers, but in numbers that it reached gradually over time.
As an artist, this is the best thing that could happen to you. It’s sort of like a light that doesn’t extinguish, that shines on wherever it needs to shine at a given time. At that point, it has nothing to do with me. I made a thing. The thing that I made turned out to have endurance. It’s an immense blessing.
The Decemberists
Thanks to the success of 2005’s Picaresque, the Portland indie-pop troubadours graduated from indie label Kill Rock Stars to major label Capitol Records for its follow-up, 2006’s The Crane Wife. Band leader Colin Meloy shares memories from a transformative year, and how a fan favorite almost got cut from the album.
I was aware that it was going to be a big record for us — I think the momentum had been there leading up. Right after Castaways & Cutouts, everything was pretty quiet, but signing with Kill Rock Stars and doing Her Majesty The Decemberists — I was really nervous about making that record. I have vivid memories of recording Her Majesty and being really nervous editing vocal takes, and feeling like there was this incredible pressure. For some reason, with Picaresque, that had just vanished a little bit. I think I was more certain of myself, more certain of the songs and the songwriting. We were well aware that we were also riding this tailwind behind us, with what was happening with the previous records and tours.
I remember the moment being really exciting. It was this nice coming together of critical and fan excitement about the band, and then on top of that, I felt like I was at a place in my writing, and the way that I was approaching the voice of the band, where I was at the top of my game. And I think that there was this sense that there was this groundswell around us — not only just like, indie writ large, but in the Pacific Northwest. We were recording with Chris Walla from Death Cab, and the guys from The Shins were stopping by while we were recording, and other stuff was happening with Sleater-Kinney and Modest Mouse. It just felt like we were at the dawn of this moment that “indie rock” was having, but also Portland and the Pacific Northwest, and that just felt really exciting.
For whatever reason, in the early days of Pitchfork, we were on their good list — that didn’t last very long. And I look back And I’m like, How did that happen? It seems so strange now — I remember they had breathless coverage of us, and people were joking about, “They’re reporting about what you’re having for breakfast.” I think they were tapped into that world, and everybody was excited to be along for the ride, to a certain degree.
When the record came out, it was just a wild moment. The day that our record release celebration was supposed to happen in Portland, at the Crystal Ballroom, our gear had gotten stolen. We had just come back from Seattle, and Jenny had parked the van that had the trailer on it in front of her house, and she woke up that morning and looked out and the trailer was gone. They had taken the whole trailer, which had all of our gear and all of our merch. So the day of our record release was spent in this place of panic: talking to the police, and then canvassing all over town to try to get enough gear together so we could play the show that night. The record was out that day — it was, to that point, the biggest day of my career, of my life, really. I remember showing up to our show with a borrowed guitar and a tote bag with some cables in it. We did all that tour just collecting gear in every city we went to.
A lot of the songs I still really love, and I still play often. “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” became this blessing and curse. The take that we kept — because we did it all live, just in front of a microphone — had Chris Walla shouting at the end of it, just out of the excitement that we had nailed it. But when we were sequencing the album, he was like, “I think that should be a single or an EP. I don’t think you should put that on the record.” But I was defiant. I was just in this mood where it was like, “I don’t care, I want to do what I want to do, and I feel like this song is achieving that mix of folk song and nerdy musical theater. This is what I’ve been leading up to, and it would break my heart to leave it off.” We didn’t really have any idea what it would be like playing it live, or if people would like it. Once we got on the road and started playing it, it became this fan favorite, and sort of a calling card. And I was like, “See? Proved you wrong, Chris! We would have been stupid to leave it off!”
I would tell indie artists today, do as much as you can —that was the advice that we were given at that time. When you’re aware that you’re in the middle of a hotbed moment like that, try to work as much as you can, although be careful, because you can also burn yourself out, which I think we also did. But it is important to capitalize on that time. I remember those times really fondly, but be aware that critical tides change. The Pitchfork 8.7s are not always going to be there for you! And I think I was aware of that.
Even though moving to Capitol at the end of the day was a good move, there’s part of me that wonders what it would have been like if we had stayed on Kill Rock Stars and eschewed that jump to the major labels. But I think I was just going off of the bands that I loved and followed, you know? And that was what you do when you have a critical and fan groundswell — you move to a major label. You’re just following a blueprint. Maybe “don’t follow a blueprint” would be good advice? Try and do things at your own speed.
Deerhoof
After earning acclaim for their noise-pop records in the early 2000s, the San Francisco band’s 20-song 2005 album The Runners Four became their first to land in the top 10 of year-end critics’ lists. Singer-bassist Satomi Matsuzaki and guitarist John Dieterich discuss how the band’s hands-on approach has helped them in the two decades since its release.
Satomi: We were trying to make this double album, and it was a lot of just going back and forth. The Runners Four was the longest time we’d spent together up until then, and I felt so much struggle. We just disagreed on so many things.
John: Nowadays, we’re often all separate, so somebody will record something real quick on their own, and then we’ll all work on the idea that they already started. For Runners Four, though, we were really trying to get in each other’s business — the idea was all four of us would completely commit to being inside every note that’s played. We were trying to get in each other’s headspace, and it was very difficult and intense, but also really fun.
Satomi: We wanted to respect each other’s creations, and didn’t want to step on each other’s toes.
John: The industry landscape has changed completely, but the way we operated then is similar to the way we operate now — we didn’t take tour support, we didn’t take money to help us make our records, we always just did everything on the cheap and ourselves. Part of it was to be frugal, and part of it was because we wanted to learn about this stuff. When I joined the band in ’99, they had already been going for a while, but I went out to Oakland to go to recording school, to take a recording and composition program. We basically taught ourselves how to use that stuff, and we’re still using those skills that we’ve developed over the last 26 years.
Satomi: People would tell us, “You’ve got to come to Europe!” And I would go, “How?” We didn’t have any money to fly to Europe. We used to be an exclusive Bay Area band, for a long time — the indie world was very normal for us, and we were happy. I was going to school, and then had this fun band. But we became more serious around 2004’s Milk Man, and then The Runners Four we toured most of year — I think we were home one month out of the entire year. I was like, “Why am I paying rent?”
John: But we were very much a part of the community in San Francisco at that time — in the early 2000s, we basically played shows almost every week, at our venues in town, and then sometimes we’d go to L.A. for a one-off thing. We had friends that we played with a lot, and we felt like we were part of a family together. It didn’t feel like a movement — it just felt like a bunch of people who were curious, and digging weird little holes separately from one another, and curious what each other was doing. Then you would go to a show and get to see what the other people were digging up. Those relationships are really meaningful, even if we didn’t really hang out very much with other bands. We played shows, and then we went back to our holes.
Satomi: Now, there are so many artists because of social media and TikTok — I don’t know where you draw a line between what’s indie and what’s not. In a way, it’s really great that everybody can become an artist and get seen, but it’s also a very difficult time for us to to make a living from playing. We don’t get paid if somebody listens to our music. We used to go to the record store — I used to go to Amoeba and buy records all the time, and you don’t have to do that anymore. It’s easier now for everyone in the world to be able to listen to our music, but there’s this downside, where an artist cannot live without another job.
John: I think what sustains these things is community — that was true for us back then in some ways, and I think it’s definitely true now. Being self-sustaining helps, to the degree that you can, but people need each other. If you happen to have tons of money, great, be self-sustaining, congratulations! But for everyone else, you need to lean on each other and teach each other how to do things. “DIY” is such a misnomer — DIY happens by people talking to other people and learning new skills. And if your friend needs to record something and they don’t have a microphone, you loan them a microphone.
Art Brut
Led by the shout-along single “Formed a Band,” the British rock group’s winking, shambolic debut album Bang Bang Rock & Roll placed at No. 3 on Pitchfork’s best albums of 2005 list, fueling an unlikely ascent. Frontman Eddie Argos explains how his expectations for the band’s commercial prospects were quickly upended.
“Formed a Band” came out on Rough Trade, as a single — that’s the first thing we ever recorded. We recorded that to get gigs and stuff, but then it got on a CD, and then Rough Trade picked it up. It was too soon — we didn’t have an album’s worth of songs. Literally every song we had written to that point is Bang Bang Rock & Roll. I was writing the lyrics to “Stand Down” the day we recorded it. But then it came out quite slowly — it was on Fierce Panda, which is quite a small label in the U.K., and then it slowly grew through the Internet. It kept being released again — Downtown released it in America, and then we signed to EMI, and they re-released it with a double CD.
All the bands that were coming through at the time, like Bloc Party and Franz Ferdinand, were all playing these big festivals, and Christian, our old guitar player, was like, “Oh, maybe we get to play a big festival!” I’m like, “Nah, don’t be stupid.” It wasn’t even on in my brain that that would happen. The first time we toured America, we were like, “Oh, this is the only time we’re going to be here,” so we weren’t taking it seriously. I didn’t even really know what Pitchfork was — I didn’t have a laptop or anything, so I was like, out of the Internet. We were just excited to make a record.
The U.K. music press is quite cynical, and I’m quite heart-on-sleeve in my lyrics — “Emily Kane” is real. I think in the U.K., people thought I was joking or something? I’ve got a sarcastic voice, maybe. The first time we played in America, people believed me, and would say, “Oh, Emily Kane was your first girlfriend, you must have really loved her.” That’s what I wanted! In the U.K., people thought I was playing a character.
My favorite bands are American — it’s the Mountain Goats, Jonathan Richman, The Replacements — but I had no idea was Pitchfork was, and it’s mad now looking back at it, because we were the third-highest album on their best albums of 2005 list, and only Kanye West and Sufjan Stevens were above us. At the time, I had no idea how big a deal that was. I just thought, “Oh, that’s nice to be on that list.” Then we played Pitchfork’s festival in 2006, and it was so hot that day, and I was so sweaty. I came offstage at the end, and John Darnielle gave me a towel and a bottle of water. I was like, “Did I die and go to heaven?”
YouTube didn’t exist when we started the band, and MySpace was getting big at the time, but that was right ahead of us. Bands didn’t have to have other jobs, like they do now. There were a lot more working-class bands, because it was easy and affordable to do it, whereas now it’s such a risk. Everything like streaming and Spotify happened over the course of the past 20 years, and it just feels different. Although I’m old now — it didn’t matter as much when I was younger, because I could live off noodles.
My advice for artists today would still be, just do it. I always think about how our guitar player Christian he booked us our first gig, and the rest of us were like, “What’s he doing? We’re not ready!” We were really hesitant, and I think, if it wasn’t for him, we’d still be rehearsing. You have to go do it, and don’t worry about being embarrassed about something. I worry about how much art gets lost because people think something is cringe. Ignore that feeling, and try not to be embarrassed.
Wolf Parade
The Montreal group’s debut album, Apologies to the Queen Mary, was an exhilarating mix of indie rock sing-alongs – Spencer Krug and Dan Boeckner split vocal duties, Modest Mouse’s Isaac Brock served as producer, and the band started playing packed clubs in North America. Krug looks back on the unlikely ways that Wolf Parade measured their success 20 years ago.
I’m a really naive person, and it’s only in retrospect that I realize when things are a big deal. But I think as a whole, we could tell that something was brimming. We had been signed to Sub Pop, because Isaac Brock wanted to make our record, and the shows we’d been playing in Montreal had been buzzing a little bit in Montreal. We weren’t sure why all this was happening, but as we were making the record, I think we knew that we should try our hardest at the very least, and that something might come of it. We had Isaac from Modest Mouse, right after “Float On” had come out, and he was becoming famous and stepping up a level. He was getting used to that as he was trying to produce our record — I think it was the first record he tried to produce that wasn’t his own, and he did a great job.
Isaac wanted to record it in Portland, Oregon, and we all lived in Montreal. He was sort of working for Sub Pop as a scout, and that’s how we ended up on Sub Pop — Dan Boeckner had a band called Atlas Strategic way back in the day, and they ended up opening for Modest Mouse down the West Coast. We all knew Modest Mouse, so the fact that Isaac helped get us on Sub Pop, and then he wanted to produce our record — we understood that that was a big deal.
So we drove to Portland from Montreal with our s—tty, s—tty tour van full of our old gear. Sub Pop probably didn’t even know what was happening — they probably assumed we were flying like normal people. I remember sitting around an apartment and watching Chronicles of Riddick, and being like, “If we don’t leave now, we’re not gonna make it to Portland on time!” We took turns driving, and arrived exhausted, but we were young enough that it didn’t matter if we were tired. And Isaac was like, “What are you guys doing here?” And we said, “We’re here to record the record!” He’s like, “Oh yeah, s—t, that’s today!”
We definitely had goals, in terms of what songs we wanted on the album. We put out these EPs already, and we were just selling them at shows. At one point, we were just burning CD-Rs on a CD burner, writing “Wolf Parade” on them, putting them in Ziploc bags and selling them. But people were buying them, so we were like, “We’ll put those songs on the record, for sure!”
We had a very DIY ethos in the beginning, which wasn’t necessarily political — we appreciated the punk ethos of doing things DIY, but it was just that we were all super poor, honestly, and we were doing everything on the cheap. I remember pulling an all-nighter before a show so we could burn enough CDs to sell. It was fun times, and in Montreal at that time, that was just the norm. CDs were still a thing, and mini-CDs were a thing, where people were putting songs and 10-inches on mini-CDs. There was a small community of indie bands where everyone knew each other, we all jammed in the same spaces, and it was mostly supportive, not too competitive. Being in it at the time, it was hard to sense what was really going on — we were goldfish in the fishbowl.
But after being active for maybe six months, suddenly there were lines around the block to get into a Wolf Parade show. It was just at a little club, but we were like, “Oh, something’s happening. This is weird.” And then SPIN magazine put out a piece around that time that was just about the Montreal music scene and the bands that were coming out of it. I remember looking at that, and our picture was in there, and I was like, “Well, this is crazy.” It was all about little things like that to see that our music was resonating with people. There was no metric to really measure anything against — we couldn’t, like, check our social media numbers, and Sub Pop wasn’t emailing us and telling us, “Congratulations, here are your sales numbers.” All you could really gauge it by was print media, and how many people were coming to your shows.
The indie scene got really hyped up in mid-2000s. Do you remember how big commercial corporations started investing in indie? Like, you’d go to a loft party with The Unicorns playing or something, and there’d be, like, free Levi’s on a table. “Do you want some free jeans?” Or “Do you want these sunglasses?” We’d go to festivals, and the amount of swag that was backstage at these festivals, like Coachella and All Tomorrow’s Parties, in the 2000s was so weird, because it didn’t really align with the origins of these bands that came out of nothing. You learn later in life which of your peers came from money and which didn’t, but when you’re 20, you’re just like, “We’re all starving artists.” And then you’re like, “Yes, I will definitely take some free jeans.” Jeans are expensive!
I think for any band, you could feel the ground shift underneath when streaming took over. For me, it’s gotten more and more difficult to get stuff out there. I’m always trying to gauge whether it’s the music industry or I’m just an aging artist, and that this is normal — probably, it’s a combination of both. But it’s not such a straight game anymore — put out a record, get a good review by Pitchfork, and then you can go on tour and make money, and you’ll make a bunch of money in royalties. The way that social media is the only game in town now to get people to know that you’ve done something is kind of interesting, and kind of sad. You have to decide how you’re going to navigate that, or if you’re going to participate at all.
I would encourage bands to maybe not worry so much about getting on a label, because what a label can do for you has changed so much with the way DSPs have taken over, and having a good distributor is maybe more important than having a good label at this point. DIY has always been a powerful thing — building small communities, instead of trying to reach everyone in the world all at once. I think it’s maybe a more meaningful way to work, instead of trying to go viral on TikTok or something. But then again, what do I know? I’m not on TikTok. I’m f—king 47, so I’m very wary of giving advice to young people.
Andrew Bird
The Lake Forest, Illinois native spent years tinkering with ornate indie arrangements before 2005’s Andrew Bird & The Mysterious Production of Eggs earned the most press acclaim of his career. Bird talks about why the album endured multiple false starts, and why, after years of distance, he’s come around to its charms.
This was definitely the album that almost broke me — maybe it did break me a little bit. It took me three tries to get it: I was searching for something that I didn’t have the vocabulary for when I started, and then I had to grope around in the dark and make a lot of mistakes. I had two fully mixed, mastered albums that went into the garbage. And in between the first and second attempt, I made Weather Systems, which I thought was going to be this little experimental EP that ended up really working. I never had a proper producer for any of that stuff, and I think that was a good thing. If someone was too decisive during that time, I wouldn’t have made those mistakes that I needed to make.
It was a transitional time in the music industry — if you drew a graph of the ascendance of my audience and the descent of physical product in the music industry, the actual album sales, they’re totally inverse trajectories, and cross over each other in about 2005. I was not super new at that time — I’d already put out three or four records, and I’d been working and touring since ’98, on a very indie DIY level. I was very committed to that, almost to a fault — I should have probably been scaling up.
When I started off, we’d play a show and put out like a binder with our mailing list. It’s so quaint when you think about it — you get people’s names and addresses, and you’d send them postcards about the next show. It was all about making posters and going around town, and if you could afford the silkscreen ones, you’d put up really cool posters on telephone poles. And then at a certain point, you graduate to having a street team, where you enlist fans to help promote shows and stuff. It was still very grassroots. My ambitions at the time were just to pay my band, and to pay my band, I thought I needed to get 300-to-400 people to come to a show, anywhere I go. There was no world-dominance expectation.
I felt like a little bit of an outsider in Chicago, because the post-rock thing was so austere, and the late ‘90s were very anti-virtuosity. I was very fancy compared to them, and so I kind of fell in with the alt-country scene, just they were the nicest people that I found in the music scene, and more approachable. I played a lot of the shows with them, but the first band that was on a national level that I fell in with was My Morning Jacket. Jim James really championed me early on, when I was touring solo — I remember he came to a London show where I was the first of three on the bill, and he brought the whole band, and the audience was being annoying, and he just made everyone shut up. He recognized what I was trying to do, and saw the value in it, and he took me on tour with them when they were still building an audience.
Listening back to Mysterious Production of Eggs — I was kind of down on it for a while, because when you spend that long in the studio, far away from being on stage, the more the energy becomes like a bedroom, headphones kind of album. But that’s part of what’s appealing about it, too. It may not have that live energy, but there’s a lot of detail, because there are so many layers, so many attempts at making these songs. Only one of them survived every attempt, which was “Opposite Day,” because I did such interesting stuff at the barn with the loops and creating this weird melody that I couldn’t replicate again. So I just kept pulling back the layers, and then adding more paint, and then pulling back the layers. I’ve never made an album that was this obsessive. My ethos since then has grown more live and free-wheeling.
I talk to a lot of young artists that don’t want to reveal what they’ve been working on until it’s absolutely perfect. I just say that mentality is not going to work. I have this built-in aversion to that sort of codified, this-is-how-you-do-it thing. Get on stage as much as possible, and don’t be precious.
Anohni
In 2005, I Am a Bird Now scored an upset win at the UK’s Mercury Prize for Anohni & the Johnsons, which was followed by acclaim for the chamber-pop tour de force by U.S. blogs and outlets. Anohni reflects on the album’s continued resonance as a defiant piece of trans expression, and why 2005 was the perfect time for I Am a Bird Now to break through.
I knew that this was my one chance — that things were as lined up as they were ever going to be to get me through the keyhole into the daylight culture. And as a person of my demographic, or whatever you want to call it, there was a lot of support for me from from the underground and from the indie world. A lot of artists had supported me to that point, and really ushered me across that line in a way that the industry was never going to. And then the really unexpected happened when I won the Mercury Prize, and that was almost like the whim of a panel of artists and cultural figures in the U.K. that transformed my life and career with that gesture. But it was a culmination of a sort of swell of underground support for me — not really from the business of music, but from my colleagues.
A lot of the songs on I Am a Bird Now were written more than five or 10 years earlier, in the mid-90s, when I was living a very insular, creative life in New York City. One or two songs on the record I wrote later, most notably “Hope There’s Someone,” shortly before I did the record. We recorded it, and I said, “That should be the first song on the record.” Everyone was like, “Really?” I was like, “Yeah, that’s definitely the best song on the record. We should just put that first and front-load it.” And that really did make a big difference, I think.
I’ve always talked about the album as a story about a family living inside me, that everyone contains a family of archetypes, and that they’re in conversation. I remember writing “For Today I Am a Boy” in like 1995 and thinking, “I could never play this to anyone. This is the most embarrassing song I’ve ever written, the most shameful — how could I even sing this? It’s so freaky.” And then I thought, “Oh! That’s great!” It made me uncomfortable when I wrote it, and there must be something in that, so I’ll just try it. And I ended up singing that song for the whole, bio-diverse world. I ended up singing it for nature and for every living thing.
Those songs were all transformed 100 times over from the touring I did on those records, and because of my practice as a performer, learned from Kazuo Ôno, everything was always changing in my body when I was singing the songs. It was always new imagery pouring forth — that was part of the delight for me as a performer, to have that chance to just reach toward an ecstatic process.
I never thought of myself as an indie artist. I thought of myself as kind of a muse to certain indie artists, but honestly, I thought of myself as a New York artist, and my international forays had always been at the invitation of other artists, like David Tibet, who’s an underground U.K. artist who’s super subcultural. He was the one who released my first album, and his support brought me out to the U.K. to do a concert with him and stuff like that. My friendship and work with Lou Reed brought me to do some concerts in Naples and Milan, and then Lou brought me on a world tour as his backup singer, and that was transformative. And then the producer Hal Willner started to promote me, and introduced me to the broader, dare I say, heterosexual music world.
A lot of those artists heard me sing and embraced me, and as a trans artist, identity hadn’t been pecked apart in the public sphere in this kind of Roman Coliseum way that it has now, so people weren’t necessarily perceiving my identity as grounds for not listening to my music. They were just curious about the music. So I Am A Bird Now was very interestingly marketed to the general public, whereas the album I just released, My Back Is a Bridge for You to Cross, it’s very difficult to convince anyone not to market it solely to a queer audience, just because that’s the way that demographic commercial marketing has taken this ugly turn. It’s crude and myopic. I’ve been writing albums about the environment and our relationship to the natural world, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone that listens to PJ Harvey or Nick Cave still listening to my music, because they don’t think it’s their lane. I find that really perverse, and it’s been mostly true in the U.S., but it’s less true in Europe.
My experience with I Am A Bird Now has been my lifelong experience – which is that, as a person like me, your survival depends on the kindness of strangers: your own family, your own community, your own church decides if you live or die. They decide if they’re going to “tolerate” you, and the extent of your freedom in the community is based on the extent of the space allotted to you. And that’s true of many minorities, but it’s particularly stunning when you’re a minority within your own family, your own like racial, ethnic, economic demographic. It’s a very specific experience, which a lot of LGBTQ people could relate to.
I would say 2005 was kind of a Goldilocks zone for something like my work to emerge, and I don’t think my work could have emerged at any other moment. It was post-AIDS enough that people were willing to entertain androgyny as a component, and even the addressing of some gender stuff. It was pre-#MeToo enough that there could be feminist concerns that hadn’t been weaponized yet. Look at where we are now politically with Trump — I mean, it’s like everyone who’s ever been canceled has been released from prison. It’s a full pardon for every canceled rapist north of the Equator.
And that’s all part of this — I Am a Bird Now was a moment on the other end of that pendulum when a conversation was tolerated, entertained and considered in the heterosexual media. Are we going to let this in? Does this pose a threat? And it was before the hibernating powers that be saw a rejuvenated opportunity to take massive power from a public conversation gone awry about the existence of trans people, to a point where a president literally got f–king elected off of like, perverted, disgusting anti-trans ads.
I feel very privileged — I had that upswing in my career when I was able to buy myself an apartment on the back of I Am a Bird Now. If that album came out today, I don’t think I’d even make 10 cents, because the tech industry hadn’t yet mobilized to upstream all of the income of the music industry, in such a way that music just became a pheromone inside everyone’s device. People in 2005 were still buying an artist’s work — there was still a transaction that was meaningful around the recording and selling of music that allowed musicians to to support themselves, and that’s disappeared now, pretty much.
I would say income is probably an eighth of what it was — maybe a tenth? You probably earn $1 for every $10 you would have earned in 2005 as a recording artist. Everyone’s just comfortable with that, and has been gently boiled in the pot, and accepted the terms of engagement from Apple and Spotify and whoever else. As musicians, we had the privileged seat in 2005 of watching that transfer of agency, and riding the last moments of an old view of 20th century agency as a recording artist, and watch that be replaced by something just way filthier.
I don’t actually talk to many young artists — my circle is pretty closed. But I’ll give the advice that Lou would have given me, which is, just don’t trust anyone that wants you to sign anything. Understand everything that you’re signing, understand what you’re giving away. That sounds very proprietary, but Lou was the one that prevented me from selling all my publishing for just a few dollars, at a moment when I was desperate. He just said, “Never, ever. Even if no one is telling you that you’re valued, continue to retain knowledge of your value.”
Whether or not it ever translates into money, according to the culture and the temperature of the era, your value is eternal. I turned down a lot of opportunities before I finally did what I did — I Am a Bird Now came out when I was 35, I wasn’t young. I was 10, 15 years older than most of the other people in my peer group who were coming up that year, and I was worldly in certain regards, but I wasn’t worldly traveling through the media and understanding what that transaction was. It took me a long time to understand how a culture eats an artist, and now I am very clear about it.
That’s what I would talk to young people about — to understand that this is not a world that has your best interests at heart. You need to consider the structures that support you, first and foremost, in any level of disclosure or spelling of interior value. You need to fully vet and understand the consequences of that, to the best of your ability, before you throw yourself into it.
I’ve become much more aware of how meaningful the music has been developmentally for young trans people, in the same way that Boy George’s music was meaningful to me when I was 14 or 15, and I’m super grateful to be seen as representation of difference in culture. At the same time, I also resent the quarantine of the messaging — I resent that the music isn’t heard because of the algorithm, because of the way that culture is contained. I got a career because a bunch of heterosexual musicians said I was a musician, and because a bunch of straight, respected guys decided that they were gonna force the issue, that I should be allowed to participate in music.
That’s what happened with I Am a Bird Now — everyone heard it at the dinner table, because it was thrust into the imagination of the entire UK after the Mercury Prize. During the tour in 2005, there would be gangs of football players singing “For Today I Am a Boy” in Spain. It was nuts — heterosexual kids were listening to it too, because it was just considered part of the fabric of the year.
I’ll always be grateful for my life — I can’t believe I got a chance to do it, because so many people of my demographic could never get a chance to do anything like that. I really was one of the very few that’s had a chance to fully express my feeling. I’m able to mirror and voice how it feels to see the world through eyes like mine. And that’s a miracle.
Okkervil River
Will Sheff’s indie-folk project spent seven years trying to find a larger audience in Texas before its third album, Black Sheep Boy, finally broke Okkervil River on a national level. Sheff explains why his group’s “ramshackle” third album was their last chance before he called it quits.
We started in 1998, and it felt like we had been slugging away in the shadows for forever. When I made Black Sheep Boy, I was in a pretty low emotional and psychological state, because it was like a permanent cloud over me. Half the time I was thinking, “Once I finished this, I’ll just hang it up, and I’ll be proud of myself,” because I knew that Black Sheep Boy was the best thing I’d ever done. At least I’ll know that I made one good record, and then went out on a high note — that was the best I could see for myself at that point.
That album came out without very much fanfare. When it came out, it really felt like I remember that my publicist accidentally CC’ed me on an email that she had written to the label with a spreadsheet of press reactions, and she said in the email something like, “This has been really hard and frustrating. I’m sorry we’re not getting more pick-up.” The spreadsheet that was included was just like, so-and-so passed, passed, passed, they liked the second one better, not his thing, passed. I was feeling really despairing, because I felt like, “If people don’t like this, then I’ll never make anything that anybody likes.”
It wasn’t until halfway through the touring cycle that Kelefa Sanneh wrote a big piece about us and the Decemberists in the New York Times, and that was when things started to turn around. It was just a wild year, because I put out this record that was maybe my last statement, and then I dutifully toured on it — we weren’t playing very well, and people didn’t seem to care. And then midway through, word of mouth made that album resurface. Suddenly, after seven years of chasing, we kind of caught the car.
I was a lonely, unhappy child who fell in with a group of artsy kids, theater and band kids, in high school. And I really felt like art was spiritual to me — I felt like it had saved my life, but I felt like there was a second part of the equation, which was that I had to prove myself in the arena of art, or else it wouldn’t have meant anything. I started Okkervil River with those same high school friends, but then they gave up on it. The drummer didn’t think it was going to be successful, and then the bassist was like, “I need a real job.” I had to hire all new players, and I was just slugging away, and I didn’t have a backup plan.
That was part of why I was so f—ked up in my head when I made Black Sheep Boy: in the pursuit of this, I had torched all my relationships, I had no money, I was not getting any sleep, and I didn’t have a place to live. I felt like I just had all this ambition and all this need for it to succeed, and I also was not psychologically getting the care that I needed to be a balanced human. Sometimes I would be like, “This is gonna make me a star,” but then other times I would be like, “I’m just gonna go back to New Hampshire and become a school teacher, I guess.” I look back on it now, and I think that relentless focus on this need for success meant that I didn’t really appreciate what good things had happened to me in my life to that point.
When I look back on it now, I’m like, “What a lucky window that we we ended up making our way through.” In the ‘80s, everything was big business in the music business, and there were bands like REM, but there weren’t that many of those bands that were really succeeding financially. In the indie rock boom, it felt like there were so many bands — because, I think, of the holdover from the ‘90s, where people were really prizing anti-corporate, alternative, independent, not selling out. And also the critical apparatus was still very whitewashed, and so a “musician” to a music critic looked like a white guy with a guitar, and really prized intelligent songwriting.
The reason that I made it was because I put in a ton of work, I looked more or less like what you’re supposed to look like, and I was doing this thing that we all were very interested in. There was the Hold Steady, the Mountain Goats, the Decemberists — and we didn’t compare notes, but we were all making vaguely literary smarty-pants rock, and we had all independently arrived and some of these values.
Now, it’s just a different landscape, and a band like Okkervil River or the Mountain Goats or the Hold Steady or whoever just wouldn’t break through in the same way, because the hunger isn’t there. The culture had a hunger, but then I watched that hunger intensify to where, suddenly Bon Iver was collaborating with Kanye West and appearing in a Bushmills ad and winning a Grammy, then being on Saturday Night Live and being satirized on Saturday Night Live. And then Zooey Deschanel was like, “I want an indie rock career, too,” and suddenly everybody had her haircut. The way people would talk about Vampire Weekend when they were first coming up, it was like they were talking about a particularly promising college basketball player. It started to seem like, instead of the alternative to mainstream corporate rock, indie rock was like the minor leagues.
I remember riding in a car with my sister, and she was listening to a bunch of songs on shuffle, and she had a song from Black Sheep Boy playing, and then right after that, a song from the Killers came on. The Killers made us sound like our record was recorded in a garage, which in fact it was. And I just felt really insecure. And so for a period of time, I was like, “I have to sound like I’m real” – like, a real musician.
And now I look back and I think the opposite is true. I love that Cindy Lee record from last year, and part of what’s cool about the record is how f—ked up it sounds. That album just goes to show that you don’t have to sound any way at all. If it’s good, it doesn’t f—king matter how it sounds. And I think that Black Sheep Boy doesn’t really sound like any other record. It’s very odd, it’s ramshackle and acoustic, and very dark, and a weird mix of electronics and acoustic guitars. It sounds pretty handmade to me. And at the time, those were all things that bothered me. And now I’m like, that’s really special.

This week, Billboard is publishing a series of lists and articles celebrating the music of 20 years ago. Our 2005 Week continues here with a conversation with Bow Wow about his stellar 2005, a year full of big hits, big videos and big tours, which fans still cherish 20 years later.
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It’s 3:30 on a balmy Friday afternoon, and Bow Wow, the prodigal son from Ohio, is hours away from Harlem Shaking his way onto the Barclays Center stage. This is the same Bow Wow who, two decades ago, dominated the Hot 100 charts with hits like “Shortie Like Mine,” “Bounce With Me” and “Let’s Get It Down.” This is also the same Bow Wow who had women of all ages swooning over his crisp braids, Colgate smile and doting demeanor before his 18th birthday. Bow Wow, the 2000s poster boy for sugary pop-rap earworms and swaggering hits, is reveling in his full-circle moment 20 years later, ahead of his sold-out Millenium Tour date in Brooklyn, New York.
“When you got a lot of people out here who pay their money and could have done other things with their money, but decided to spend that $50 or however much to see you, I always keep that in mind,” says the now-veteran entertainer, his voice filled with gratitude. “Staring at myself at 38 years old, knowing that I was doing this 25 years ago, and I’m still doing it, and I’m still going through these same tunnels and hallways, it’s crazy. Sometimes, I think, ‘D–n. I’m not supposed to be here.’ A lot of young child stars that started young, they don’t make it this far. For me to still be here doing it, man, something must be going right.”
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Bow Wow Performance and Album Signing for “Wanted” – July 12, 2005 at City Hall Park and J&R Records in New York City.
John Ricard/FilmMagic
Not only is Bow Wow enjoying 25 years of longevity, dating back to his multi-platinum debut album Beware of Dog, but he’s also celebrating the 20th anniversary of his fourth album, Wanted. His 2005 LP included a bevy of Hot 100 flamethrowers, beginning with his top-five hits “Like You” with Ciara and “Let Me Hold You” with Omarion. The prince of the Jermaine Dupri rap brigade So So Def didn’t stop there, as he continued his reign with the punchy “Fresh Azimiz” and his laser-sharp feature on Dem Franchise Boyz’s “I Think Dey Like Me (Remix),” both landing on the top 25 on the Hot 100.
While Bow Wow is savoring his past victories, he’s also embracing his future. Releasing his first record in over five years, Bow Wow teamed up with oft-collaborator Chris Brown for his new record “Use Me.” Lifting from Murder Inc’s 2000s breezy anthem “Down Ass Chick,” Bow Wow proves that he still has enough bark and bite to compete with today’s bachelors.
“It’s hard to deny nostalgia,” says Bow Wow. “When you see two artists come together that don’t necessarily need one another — like, Chris doesn’t need Bow, and he does what he does, and you’re here with me now, and I’m doing what I’m doing — we and the fans know that when we come together as a collective, expect nothing but greatness. Me and Brown don’t miss. We never miss.”
Below, Bow Wow talks with Billboard about his memories from 20 years ago, clips of his from back then that still go viral, and whether or not Future was really in the “Let Me Hold You” video.
In 2005, you dropped several Hot 100 top five hits from your fourth album Wanted, including “Like You,”and “Let Me Hold You.” Where does that era rank in your career?
I don’t know because that was 17-going-into-18 Bow Wow, and that was a moment in my career where I was young-adult hot. That was Scream 4 Tour time, selling out arenas — and if you want to go before that, Beware of Dog, Doggy Bag days, that’s Like Mike Bow Wow. That’s the Harlem Shaking Bow Wow. They both were on fire, but I don’t know. I can’t pick. They both were hot as hell. I don’t know. It’s tough.
Let’s dive into “Let Me Hold You.” What was the recording process with you, Jermaine Dupri and Omarion?
I know we did that a Southside Studios in Atlanta. We got the track from No ID. A lot of people think Jermaine did it, but it was No ID who produced it. One of the goats. So to have a No ID track [was huge]. To have him and Jermaine in the studio [was dope]. Jermaine would be writing, dictating what direction we’re gonna go with the record. We already knew who we wanted to put on the hook just, because of the dynamic that me and [Omarion] got when it comes to collaborating.
So I learned this the other day: Future was in the video?
He wasn’t. [Laughs.] So let me explain. I’m glad you brought that up, so I can go ahead and clear that up because I did see that went viral. You know the internet is going to have fun and make what they wanna make out of things. No, that was not Future. That was a guy by the name of The Kid Slim. He was one of my writers who did a lot of writing with me on “Like You” and different other records. His name is Slim. He’s from New York and there’s a reason why we call him Slim. He’s very skinny. I believe Future is six-feet-something, well-built — but that was The Kid Slim.
Other thing from the video that continues to go viral to this day is the glitch dance move you had, which your daughter brought back to life a couple of years ago. Are you surprised that the dance is still making noise on the internet today?
Look, I came up with it. So I can take full credit. Every night [on the tour], I see them do it. They’re waiting on it. If I don’t do it, it’s disappointing. It’s to the point that, even when I’m out in public, people do it to me. I love it. It’s a solid gesture. It lets me know that they’re appreciative of the music. It’s making them feel some kind of way regardless. If you’re having fun doing it, if you’re don’t understand it, it’s the fact that it’s bringing out an emotion out of you. It means my little move did something.
I think it’s up there with the finger-on-the-keyboard move you have.
I do that too. Listen. A lot of things that I did in concert and went viral for dance-wise, I always make sure I incorporate that into the show, because I feel like that’s what people want to see. I can’t get on stage in Brooklyn and not Harlem Shake in New York. That would be crazy. So I always make sure I keep those things in mind.
“Like You” was another top five record for you on the Hot 100. Speak on some of your favorite memories making the record and the video.
I remember cutting the record in Atlanta. I found the sample. Jermaine was working on something and I was like, “You heard this New Edition album? [Starts humming the melody] It’s ‘I’m Leaving You Again.’ There’s something about this record. JD, please mess around with it?’ I’m getting chills now just talking about it. When he did it, I just felt it. I said, “This is No. 1.” All day I just felt it.
And then at the time, [Ciara] was on fire. She was about to be certified triple-platinum on her first album, Goodies. It just made so much sense at that time in the moment of my life when we were together to record that song. I was the youngest, hottest cat in the game. She was the youngest, hottest female in the game and at that time we were dating. It just made perfect sense for us to collaborate together on a Jermaine Dupri product. And boom, there you have it — No. 1 out the gate.
Was it tricky for you trying to make a hit with your significant other, but also publicly endorsing your relationship for the first time at such an early age?
Nah, it wasn’t tricky. It’s been done before. I think with us, it was the timing. It was effortless. It just made sense. I don’t even think we were in the studio together. I think I just knocked my stuff out and she came to Southside [Studios] later and did her parts. I just knew it. It just made perfect sense. It was the perfect marriage for that record, and nobody else could have sung that hook and did that verse like how she delivered on that record.
With “Fresh Azimiz,” people thought it was initially a diss to Lil Romeo — and you clarified later that it wasn’t. Why do you think there was such anticipation to see you and him collide on the mic?
I just think you got two young Black kids, braids, both have hip-hop pioneers behind them. I had the Mickey Mouse, and Rome was wearing the Bugs Bunny. But later on in life, me and him spoke and he kept it real. He said, “Bro. I looked up to you. I’m not even gon’ lie. They always wanted us to be against each other, but I always wanted to be close to you and with you.”
When he told me that, I just took that as a form of big bro, lil bro. He is a grown man now, but Rome, that’s my guy. I have the utmost respect for him — and it was never an issue. The media was trying to make something that it wasn’t. When I came out with “Fresh Azimiz,” and the whole line, “18 making more than your dad” — for the people that know hip-hop, that’s a line from another iconic rapper. I think they took that line and spun it, which I understood at that moment, but I definitely wasn’t talking about Rome at all.
To round out your crazy 2005 run, we have to talk about your iconic verse on “I Think They Like Me.”
You wanna know the true story behind that?
Of course.
Didn’t like the record when I hear first heard it. Did not like the song. Did not understand it. I think that’s when were were entering that new wave of hip-hop. That’s when Atlanta and snap music started taking over. I’m an ’80s baby, but I also grew up as a Death Row baby. So I grew up off of hip-hop. I didn’t understand repeating the same words over and over and over again on the hook.
With that being said, I told JD, “I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to be down with this. I don’t know how this ‘gon work.” I remember Jermaine flying to LA, like, “You’re getting on this record. Regardless. I don’t care if I have to force you to do it.” Even though he couldn’t do it, I’d whoop JD’s ass. JD comes up to my chin. [Laughs]. I love Jermaine. That’s my partner. But he really flew all the way to LA. I was filming a movie and I pulled up to the studio. I was pissed. I did not want to do it. The respect that I have for Jermaine, I was like, “All right. Whatever.”
Little do you know, true story — the version of “I Think Dey Like Me” that you heard, that’s it. One take and I left the booth. I went back to the set. I did not want to do it. I did not want to do the record. I did not understand it. It was new to me. And people say it’s the hardest verse. Thank God for mixing, because I rapped it so bland. You can tell I didn’t wanna be here, and I did it like that. I never rapped in the same tone, ever. That’s the only time I rapped it in the same tone, and Jermaine was like the King of Ad Libs. So he had to get behind [the verse]. I did the verse, like, “Take it how you take it.” Next thing you know, No. 1 record and I’m like, ‘Oh, I do like this s–t now. I like it a lot.’
Let’s talk about the new record you have with Chris Brown called “Use Me,” which is produced by Hitmaka. You and Chris have history, with songs like “Shortie Like Mine” and “Ain’t Thinking About You.”
I think this record is better than “Ain’t Thinking About You.” For sure. I feel we topped it with this one. “Shortie” is the first baby you hold to heart, but this one is gonna be the runner-up. I feel like with where I’m at with my career, and with where Brown is at — that’s my dog, that’s my brother. We have a group chat. We talk everyday and the fans know that. So when we come together, it’s organic. I love doing records with people that I love and with people I rock with.
I gotta give all credit to Brown. I remember being at his house and he’s like, “What you doing, bro? I need Bow back. We need you, bro. You tripping. Gang, what we doing?” That kind of woke me up. He was right. He was like, “You’re selling out arenas and you’re not putting out music.” You gotta put something out. I need you. So when he put that battery on my back, I said, “Aight.”
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