‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 17 Power Rankings: Episodes 1 & 2 — Let the Squirrel Games Begin

As it turns out, having a funny drag name does not mean you are a comedy queen, a fact that RuPaul, Michelle Visage, TS Madison, Doechii, the other queens and the audience at home all found out during Hormona Lisa’s talent show performance. Doing stand-up comedy — both on Drag Race and in the wider world — is very difficult, and Hormona’s “jokes” rang hollow throughout her minute-long set. Meanwhile, her performance in the “Yes, And?” lip sync against Acacia Forgot made us say “No, Stop.” She missed half the words and just walked around the stage looking lost for most of the song. Hormona was extremely lucky to earn another chance in the competition, but to quote Oda Mae Brown from the 1990’s Ghost: “You in danger, girl.”

Track Record:

While she managed to defeat Hormona in the lip sync, Acacia had a rough two weeks. The queen seemed miffed that the judges didn’t give her more credit for singing and playing guitar live during her talent show, but she didn’t seem to grasp that there is a reason most queens don’t sing live in the talent show; the margin of error is just too high. While her performance wasn’t necessarily bad, it was riddled with nerves and shaky vocals, making her look weak in comparison to some of the towering performances we will get to later on this list. I haven’t forgotten Acacia just yet, but another unassured performance like that could send this L.A. queen packing soon.

Track Record:

Joella certainly managed to leave a lasting impression on guest judge Katy Perry, considering the pop superstar instantly recognized her in the work room. But when it comes to the competition at large, Joella spent most of the first two episodes fading into the background. Her costumes were fine, her performance was middle of the road and the other queens seemed to generally not pay her much mind. While that may seem like a formula for a middle placement on this list, if we’ve learned anything from 16 past seasons of this show, it’s that being forgettable on Drag Race is a mortal sin.

Track Record:

Giving yourself “Butthole” as a middle name is surefire way to get on RuPaul’s radar. And Lydia B Kollins is certainly basking in that attention for the time being. Her gothy, Tim Burton-inspired looks are genuinely impressive, and her onscreen persona seems to be building slowly as the episodes go on. But that talent show performance nearly eliminated the goodwill her middle name earned her with Ru. The giant sock-puppet idea was the perfect blend of stupid and fascinating — a combination Ru has been known to love — but she could not stick the landing. If she can up the stakes and polish up her performances, then this queen could have a bright future on the season. But as of right now, the “B” might just stand for “bungled.”

Track Record:

Having Luxx Noir London as her drag mother means that Lana Ja’Rae is our look queen of the season, and in just two episodes, she showed off her fashion skills. Yes, almost every look Lana wore was stunning, and she certainly deserves recognition for her couture. But when it came time for her talent show, Lana couldn’t manage to bring the energy her number needed. She nabbed a mini-challenge win and the audience’s attention with her detailed looks — I just hope to see more from her performance overall as the show goes on.

Track Record:

Arrietty did what she needed to do in the premiere — she introduced herself to the fans, made a lasting impression and survived to perform another week. The art of crafting an impactful signature makeup look is well established in the Drag Race canon (see Raven, Trixie Mattel, Bianca Del Rio, Crystal Methyd, etc.), and Arrietty’s mug is certainly memorable. In the weeks to come, I want to see a little bit more in terms of execution from the Seattle queen — while her skirt dance in the talent show was good, it lacked any of the dramatic flair that more memorable performances from the premiere had.

Track Record:

Let’s get one thing straight; Onya Nerve has got bars. When Doechii compliments your flow, you know you’ve done something incredibly right. It’s clear from the get go that Onya has one of the most infectious personalities of the season — every time she pops up for a confessional hot take, you want to lean in and catch every ounce of personality. Between that inherent charisma and her deft talent show performance, Onya has got a lot going for her. The one thing holding her back, though, are some of her looks. Compared to some of the truly stunning outfits we’ve seen already this season, Onya’s ensembles don’t come across as memorable. But if she can get a sickening costume or two in the mix this season, then the sky’s the limit for this queen.

Track Record:

Polish goes a long way, as Sam Star proved in episodes one and two. The Southern pageant queen made sure that her outfits, her performance and her on camera antics were as precise and plucked as her makeup. Her country lip sync for the talent show benefitted from Acacia Forgot’s diminishing returns the week prior (even if the number itself was more “meh”), her runway looks managed to fit both her and the theme naturally and her catty confessionals made her a queen you remembered immediately from the first episode. Sam came out swinging as an exceptionally competent queen this season, and if her drag mother is any indication, then this Star is poised to shine bright in season 17.

Track Record:

Some people are just meant to be seen on television, and that is the vibe I immediately got from Kori King. Even if her looks weren’t as drop-dead gorgeous as some of the other contestants, Kori exuded such a natural charm that she made you want to root for her. Even when her talent show number was another lip-sync to an original club song, this queen spent every second selling the number, drawing you in with her own innate sense of stage presence. Even when the backstage drama didn’t quite materialize in the main episodes, Kori kept the soundbites coming in her hilarious confessionals. I’m keeping Kori near the middle of the pack for now, but she feels primed for plenty of upward trajectory in the weeks to come.

Track Record:

Crystal Envy had a very good two weeks. Every look she served was clean, her talent show number managed to both surprise and delight the judges and she did a solid job in her winners’ lip sync. Yet I cannot help but wonder what more we’re going to see from Crystal. There’s no denying that of RuPaul’s four beloved adjectives, she has charisma, nerve and talent all right there for everyone at home to see. But that pivotal uniqueness — the thing that helps her stand out from the other queens — hasn’t quite shown itself yet. We’re only two weeks in, so there’s a better than average chance that we’ll see her distinguish herself in future episodes. If her “Alter Ego” lip sync is any indication, there is much more under that surface. But first impressions are what they are, and I can’t say that Crystal managed to separate herself from the pack in the premiere.

Track Record:

Lucky Starzzz easily could have been in the top this week. Everything the DIY artist brought to her Drag Race debut worked splendidly in her favor — her collection of completely-out-of-the-box looks, her stage presence, her storyline and her hilarious talent show performance spoke volumes about the crafty queen’s future prospects on the show. Lucky both fits and subsequently breaks the mold for what we expect to see on a good season of Drag Race, making her one to watch among this eclectic cast.

Track Record:

Remember what I said about natural charisma when talking about Kori King? That goes double for Miss Jewels Sparkles. From the moment she entered the work room, Jewels lit up the screen with the energy and star power, drawing viewers in with her magnetic screen presence. Her talent show performance only cemented that attention, as Jewels did an excellent job showing off her phenomenal dance skills over a funnier-than-average Drag Race song. And her performance in the winners’ lip sync was genuinely jaw-dropping — she embodied Katy Perry from start to finish, closing out the first episode with a bang (or a shablam, if you will). All this to say, Jewels is certainly sparkling with her debut on Drag Race.

Track Record:

Now THIS is how you make an introduction, folks. With just a few looks and two absolutely stellar performances, Suzie Toot quickly cemented herself as the queen to beat thus far on season 17. It feels like we already completely understand the Suzie character — theater queens with sharp senses of humor tend to do pretty well on the show — while also getting to see something completely different from her when it came time for the talent show. Yes, her tap-dancing was impressive, but it was the queen’s impeccable comedic timing that made the performance a massive success. By the time she tapped out the lyrics to Katy Perry’s “Woman’s World” in fake morse code, I was already deeply in love with Suzie and her “nine tapping toes.”

Track Record:

To paraphrase Bill Hader’s Stefon, this queen has everything. Over the course of two episodes, Lexi Love came in with some of the best outfits of the season (special shoutout to her incredible glitching TV ensemble for the episode 2 runway), a perfect reality TV personality, an immediate underdog storyline (why Jewels called her “Auntie Grandma” when she’s 33 is beyond me), a captivating talent show number (she did three splits and a cartwheel while on roller skates, y’all) and an all time lip sync performance (Doechii was snapping her fan directly at Lexi and no one can tell me otherwise). If she keeps this kind of work up, Lexi will have a clear path to the top prize — and we simply Love that for her.

Track Record: