‘Lil Nas X: Long Live Montero’: 5 Big Takeaways From the Intimate New Documentary

The story of “Old Town Road” is a modern music industry fairy tale; a young rapper buys a beat from an online producer, creates his own single and proceeds to become a once-in-a-generation pop star. Yet there’s one problem — that beat he purchased for $30 contained a prominent sample of Nine Inch Nails’ 2008 instrumental “34 Ghosts IV.”

In the documentary, Lil Nas X breaks his silence about the sample heard ’round the world. Sitting shirtless in a hotel room, the rapper plays the original song and laughs. “I didn’t even know it was a sample at first, so when I did figure out it was a sample, I was like, ‘Oh my f–king god, I’m doomed,’” he chuckles. “Luckily, Nine Inch Nails didn’t even know the song had blown up yet, or they probably would’ve taken 99%” (Lil Nas X ended up crediting both Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross co-writers and co-producers on the song).

While fans have grown accustomed to Lil Nas X’s brash brand of sexual liberation, he reveals in Long Live Montero that he initially had no plans to perform as ostentatiously as he has. “[After I came out] I was so against doing anything feminine or bringing that side out at all, or even like having gay men on stage with me,” he reveals. “At first, I wanted to stay as the ‘acceptable gay person.’ Like, ‘this is the one that doesn’t shove it down our throats, this is the one that keeps it to himself.’”

The singer goes on to say that he ultimately discarded that perception, thanks in large part to the team of black queer dancers who performed with him every night of his tour. “I’m the most myself with the dancers … I love that they’re all so vibrant, full of life and happiness, and just really confident in themselves and able to just move so fluidly. I’m just in awe,” he says. “I feel like that’s one of the best parts about where I am in life and what I do and who I get to work with; I‘m able to finally be with other Black gay young men. We share little commonalities, and I think that’s really dope. I guess I didn’t really see the value in that until I was actually in that space.”

Following the release of “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” Lil Nas X became a favorite punching bag of the religious right; whether he was being yelled at by a conservative pundit for giving the devil a lap dance or by a Republican governor for a pair of Satan-themed sneakers, the rapper transformed from a seemingly inoffensive hip hop-country artist to a pop provoceteur of the highest order. And with his new title came new challenges; as the documentary shows, protesters showed up outside his Boston concert to ask attendees to “repent” for their “sins.”

While Lil Nas made headlines for sending the protesters pizza slices to thank them for the “really good promo,” Long Live Montero sees the star attempting to empathize with the demonstrators. “I think it’s really great when people have a sense of belonging to something, or feel like they’re a part of something bigger. And I feel like that’s what those people feel like they’re doing,” he tells the camera, looking out the window of his Boston hotel room. “So part of me is like, ‘I wish they weren’t hateful towards us,’ but then another part of me is like, ‘Oh, that’s kind of dope. These people have their own group, or they feel like they’re doing something of change the world, that’s nice for them’ … but then I actually paid attention to one of the videos [of the protests], and I was like, ‘Oh that’s kind of fucked up.’”

One of the film’s most moving moments comes at a point where Lil Nas X is not the focus. Towards the end of the film, a clip is played from Little Richard’s famous 1972 interview on BBC’s Late Night Line-Up, where he declares that he never wants to hide any part of himself. “I let it all hang out, I don’t hide none.”

Lil Nas X points to Little Richard as an inspiration in his career, regardless of whether or not he publicly came out as queer. “I don’t know if he ever explicitly stated that he was gay … but I think his story is sad, because I think it’s the story of so many queer people,” the singer says, lying in his bed. As he speaks in the documentary, portraits of pioneering Black queer artists begin to fill the screen, including Tracy Chapman, Frankie Knuckles, Ma Rainey and Sylvester. “They’re doing these amazing things and making these huge strides, and they kinda get painted over by history, as if they never happened. Of course, black people in general, but Black queer people even more so.”

A significant portion of the film explores the relationship between Lil Nas X and his family. Viewers are introduced to the singer’s nephew Chase, referred to often as his “first fan”; his brothers J.R., Lamarco and Tramon, the latter of whom credits his younger brother for inspiring him to come out as bisexual; and his stepmother Mia, who joins him backstage before his show to cheer him on.

While Lil Nas X highlights how far his family has come in learning to accept him and his sexuality, he also emphasizes the smaller, internal struggles he contends with when seeing them. One scene shows the singer trying on a plaid skirt and a queer-themed Balenciaga top to go meet his extended family before a show, asking his team repeatedly if he looks okay. “That skirt is low key a big transitional moment in my life that was so small but such a big thing,” he says. “It’s easy to go to a music video set and do some super fruity s–t. But to walk out in front of both sides of your family and wear this little skirt and a shirt that has every version of the LGBT flag on the back of it is really freeing, almost. Not almost, it actually is.”

The film pays the most attention to Lil Nas X’s father, Robert Stafford. Throughout the documentary, the rapper examines the complicated relationship he maintains with his father — he emphasizes how supportive and loving his dad ultimately became, but highlights that there was plenty of tension between the two when he first came out. “It was kind of awkward, and he was kind of like, ‘This could be the devil tempting you,’ which I understood to a degree. I mean, you gotta think about it — your son gets rich and famous, and suddenly he’s gay. That sounds like everything the YouTube [comments] warn you about, you know?” he says. “Even now, it’s still hard to be open when I’m dating somebody … going from ‘the devil is tempting you’ to f–king coming to a gay club with me is crazy.”

Yet when Stafford gets the opportunity to speak, he shares nothing but love and support for his son. “Maybe he’s nervous that he can’t do his thing, being Montero,” he says before Lil Nas’ show in Atlanta, where his family will be watching. “But I told him last night, ‘Be you. Do you. we all support you, we all love you, we know your story, we know where you came from, and we’re excited to see where you’re going.’”