State Champ Radio Every Sketch From the Miles Teller-Hosted Episode of ‘SNL’ Ranked
Written by djfrosty on November 3, 2025
Trending on Billboard
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This star-studded sketch is a mini masterpiece that delivers on both a local and national level, and it’s all the better for not wearing its politics on its sleeve. Each of New York’s mayoral candidates — independent Andrew Cuomo (Teller), Democrat Zohran Mamdani (Youssef) and Republican Curtis Sliwa (Gillis) — as well as the city’s current mayor, Eric Adams (Patterson) get their own turn on the spit of this perceptive satire.
Cuomo: “I got us through Covid, and then, yada, yada, yada, honk-honk, squeeze-squeeze,” he says, a reference to the sexual harassment allegations that dog him.
Sliwa: “I’m the only candidate here who’s been dangled by my testicles off the Verrazano Bridge by a little-known gang called The Lords of Flatbush. I was also poured into the foundation of Giants Stadium and crawled my way out. And just on my way here, I was ejaculated upon at the great Stardust Diner by a Times Square Spider-Man.”
For anyone under 60, The Lords of Flatbush was a 1974 film about a motorcycle gang that starred Henry Winkler, Sylvester Stallone and Paul Jabara, and featured a scene that resembles the dangling described by Gillis. Sliwa, who is also the founder of the volunteer crime protection group, the Guardian Angels, was abducted and shot in a cab in 1992 after Gambino crime family boss John Gotti put a hit out on him, has, more recently claimed unverified threats against his life because of his refusal to drop out of the race.
Mamdani: “I’m ready to spend the next hour hearing my opponents pronounce my name in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine. And I know some of you out there are scared of the idea of a young, socialist Muslim mayor. So, allow me to put you at ease by smiling after every answer in a way that hurts my face.” (Youssef, who has one of the best high-beam smiles in show business, is the ideal man for the job.)
And in another response: “I want to be mayor so I can deliver a better New York. Free healthcare, affordable housing, free WiFi,” Youssef as Mamdani says. “As mayor, can I make that happen? I’m not sure yet. But together we’re going to find out… that the answer is no.”
The butchering of Mamdani’s name alone is pretty spectacular here: Gillis as Sliwa calls him “Zoltar Rob Zombie” and Patterson as Adams refers to him as “Zorgon Mamagrama.”
There are also plenty of inside jokes for New Yorkers, such as the debate sponsors: One is the Gristedes supermarket chain, which is owned by billionaire Republican John Catsimatidis, who was pressuring Sliwa to drop out of the race. Others include the latest bane of the city’s pedestrians: bike lanes. (“You want a new way to die? Step into a bike lane,” says Thompson as the debate moderator.)
There are so many jokes in this sketch — which lasts just over 9 minutes — that it bears repeated watching, and Johnson-as-Trump makes an appearance near the end as the answer to the question posed to the candidates: “What is the biggest problem you have to confront as mayor?” Promising to be “very hands on,” Trump motions to Cuomo and says, “This guy knows about hands on, right, Cuomo?”
Wait, there’s more! The sketch ends with Trump performing “The Music of the Night” from the Broadway hit, The Phantom of the Opera. And godd–n, Johnson can carry a tune.
