Sandra Bernhard Reveals Open Heart Surgery (Then Fakes Heart Attack) During Café Carlyle Residency Debut

“I’m a little nervous,” Sandra Bernhard told the audience on the first night of her debut residency at Manhattan’s Café Carlyle on Tuesday (April 29) evening. Noting that the chic space insists its performers (whether they’re a singer, actor, comedian, or in her case, all three) bring new material to the 90-capacity room, she wondered aloud whether that meant the venue had someone “watching, monitoring” to ensure everything was fresh.

For a performer who started out in the ‘70s and has been singing, acting and cracking wise since (Bernhard is legendary for her brash, uncompromising style and dry wit, perhaps best showcased in her classic 1990 film Without You I’m Nothing), that’s no small task. But if the venue was concerned about new material, they got that and much more when Bernhard revealed she had recently underwent open heart surgery.

“It was a planned surgery, it wasn’t that dramatic,” Bernhard clarified, pointing out that other patients she came in contact with at the hospital were suffering through much harder health scares. (Her reaction to all that? “This sh-t’s crazy, I’m gonna pull through and get the f–k out of here,” she deadpanned).

Bernhard shared she had some last-minute concerns about potential scarring right before her surgery. “I know we’re just minutes away from being wheeled into the operating room, but I’m an actress, I’m a performer,” she recalled telling the doctor. “Do I need to bring in a plastic surgeon? They said, ‘We’ll make it work, we’ll make it beautiful.’ … And here I am.”

After some cheers and applause from the crowd, she gave her fans the side-eye. “I thought I’d get a standing ovation, but okay.”

The opening night crowd included her partner of 25 years, Sara Switzer, as well as friends and longtime fans (her rescue pup, George, was waiting for her in one of the upscale hotel’s rooms in “a smoking jacket”), giving the evening a casual, conversational feel. At one point, she engaged in an extended conversation with one lucky woman sitting toward the front. Similarly, during an anecdote about her gynecologist, she turned to a table of presumably gay men (they were, after all, at a Sandra Bernhard show) and assured them, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna force anything on you.”

Backed by her Sandyland Squad Band (including her pianist of 40-some years, Mitch Kaplan), Bernhard sang an eclectic mix of decades-spanning songs over the course of the evening. Per the Carlyle’s new-material mandate, she trotted out fresh covers in her repertoire, tackling everything from McFadden & Whitehead’s “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now” to Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful” to Seals & Crofts’ “Summer Breeze.” While the lyrics for the lattermost gave her a spot of trouble (“Isn’t this the soundcheck?” she quipped), she quickly fell into a groove with her band; while Bernhard isn’t known for vocal dynamics, she brings a captivating, effortless verve to the mic that eludes many technically proficient singers.

There was real pathos and pain in her voice when she sang Marianne Faithfull’s “As Tears Go By.” The recently deceased singer-songwriter was a longtime friend of hers, and Bernhard told a few stories about her time with the chain-smoking chanteuse. “We’ll never see the likes of her again,” she concluded of the late icon.

Many years from now (we hope) when Bernhard herself shuffles off this mortal coil, the same will certainly ring true for her. From Flint, Mich., to stages around the world, Bernhard is a true American original, possessing the kind of wit and presence that can’t be learned or manufactured. Seeing her in an intimate venue like Café Carlyle during this residency, which runs through May 3, is an undeniable treat.

Before the night was over, she did a callback of sorts to her big reveal: grasping her chest, she slumped over, briefly faking a heart attack. “That’s a new party trick,” she shared.

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