Michelle Buteau Plays Never Have I Ever | Billboard

Michelle Buteau from Netflix’s ‘Survival of The Thickest’ plays Never Have I Ever.

Michelle Buteau
Hey everyone, I’m Michelle Buteau. And this is Never have I ever not with Mindy Kaling on Netflix. It’s just a game because someone went to Kinkos.

Producer:
FedEx Express, actually.

Michelle Buteau:
Oh, I’m so sorry FedEx Express, okay. Have I ever lied to get out of a speeding ticket? No, with this face. No. I always say I just started my period. And they just look at me silently like you did? Works every time.

Michelle Buteau
Have I ever dumped someone over text? No. I have never done that because I’m a responsible b*tch. And I feel like I can ghost somebody to their face.

Michelle Butueau
I have never paid for a comedy show and left because it was bad. But I have left comedy shows that I’ve been on. Because I’ll need to see that bullsh*t.

Producer:
Have you ever overdrafted a bank account?

Michelle Buteau:
What? How dare you? How dare you? I got top t*tty meat, back fat and I gotta balance a check. That’s not fair.

Michelle Buteau
Have I ever lied about my age? Never. I’m proud. 45 from the waist up 21 from the waist down. B*tch!

Michelle Butueau
Have I ever seen a ghost? Oh my god. I have no, say they want to invoke the spirit and shit and I gotta go home with it.

Michelle Butueau
Have I ever got skinny dipping? Yeah, but I call it plus size dipping. actually went to the beach. And then like, two weeks later, I had a pearl under my t*tty. There was sand under my boob. I didn’t know if you knew how it worked.

Michelle Butueau:
Have I become a member of the Mile High Club? I’m a size 18/20 I could barely get in the seat that I paid too much money for. Are you serious? I go into that bathroom and it’s like I’m breastfeeding everything in the bathroom anyways, so no, we could barely find the hole when I’m in a bed.